This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

I learned an important lesson in movie trailers this week, you guys, and how great they can be regardless of the actual movie they are advertising. Last night I saw a screening of a movie that has a GREAT trailer and that I think a lot of people who enjoy this website are going to be VERY excited to see, because it is directed by the same guy who directed a movie that everyone was excited about two years ago, and it stars the same actor from that movie who is an actor that all of the ladies enjoy on a DEEP level and let’s just say I am going to be very curious to see how everyone’s head explodes with queasy disappointment when it finally comes out. BLIND ITEMS! The point is: trailers.

The Spectacular Now

I’m sure this is a nice little coming of age movie, etc etc etc, but I do find it hard to believe that a teenager would tell another teenager “Can’t you see I’m no good for you? You need to get away from me!” unless it is made very clear in the movie that this teenager is ridiculous and clearly just quoting an adult in a different, worse movie.

Empire State

Apparently this is going straight to video. Which is actually kind of surprising for a The Rock and Liam Hemsworth movie! Things happen, I guess. Life has a funny way of going straight to video.


“In a world where Steve Jobs was a total HUNK.” I don’t know, man. The Steve Jobs story is probably interesting enough, and Ashton Kutcher is an actor, but when that Mackelmore song kicked in at 00:02, they lost me. (They lost me again when Steve Jobs Kutcher was crying on a podcast, and again just a moment later with that beard in the mirror shot. The ceiling can’t hold me, for sure, I’m outta here!)

Crystal Fairy

This looks really good! I’m not usually a fan of drug-fueled comedies, but this one looks good.

Drinking Buddies

This also looks pretty good. Guys! Stuff looks good today! To be fair, I am a big fan of Jake Johnson and would watch him in most things, and I’m also a fan of Olivia Wilde’s alien moon face. TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER, OLIVIA WILDE!

The Smurfs 2

Fuck you.

The Lego Movie

Fuck you.

Killing Season

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH AHHHHHHHHHH! This is not a real movie, right? This is a fake movie? This is a joke being played on us and Ashton Kutcher comes out in his hat and everyone is like, oh man, you had me going for a second, Ashton Kutcher. Like, no. No this is. No. Hahah. Nah. No.

Touchy Feely

OK. I mean, OK? This has a good cast, it looks fine. I wish the trailer didn’t have so many title cards about, like, easing tension, and touching other people’s hearts or whatever those title cards even said. You’re already making a movie about a massage therapist who can no longer perform massage therapy called TOUCHY FEELY, how hard do we need to hit this over the head? Oh until its head turns to mush? Fair enough.