What Reality TV Star’s Merchandise WOULD You Buy?

The answer is none. I know that, I’m no dummy. Life is hard and expensive and crowded enough that we don’t need a Tek from The Real World: Hawaii’s sunglasses line or, like, Irene’s Teddy Bears. Hahah. Are there any other reality shows? Ummm. Aaden from Jon and Kate + Eight could have a line of eye glasses for babies. But it’s Wednesday morning and SOMETIME’S IT’S NICE TO JUST USE YOUR IMAGINATION! Also this, from USAToday:

Fans of the popular reality TV star, aka 7-year-old Alana Thompson, and her family can start saving now for a line of merchandise set to start hitting stores this year.

“We love our fans and are excited to bring things that we love to our viewers,” says Mama June Thompson in a statement.

She adds, “Alana is a huge fan of fashion and all things girly. Fans are going to love the stuff that TLC will be putting on shelves.”

First out will be a book, How to Honey Boo Boo, with a release date of July 9 from William Morrow. Its subtitle is The Complete Guide on How to Redneckognize the Honey Boo Boo in You. The book precedes the July 17 start of the new season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on TLC at 9 p.m. ET/PT.

Calendars, posters, T-shirts, cellphone cases, talking key chains (yes, that’s right) and other novelty items are expected to be available in the fall.

NOW?! I could understand one year ago, but now? I guess maybe I’m out of touch. If the world wants keychains that say “you better redneckognize” in the year 2013, that’s what the world deserves to get. But is it what you want? What do you want instead? Puck Band-Aids? PC Iced Coffe? (From NYC Prep.) (Remember?) Kid Nation’s Taylor’s Chicken Fingers?!?! Tell meeeeee!