What Is Robert Pattinson’s New Type Of Girl?

For years we were all able to live in a dream world, a world in which Robert Pattinson, movie vampire, and Kristen Stewart, movie vampire (spoiler), lived and loved together in an exclusive relationship. Ah, to be so young and lucky as we were! To have held the idea that true vampire love existed — it seems so unimaginable now! And today we receive the final nail in our coffin (vampires), the news that Robert Pattinson has officially switched types. BUT TO WHAT TYPE?! From HollywoodLife:

Robert Pattinson, 27, spent the past five years dating Kristen Stewart, a gorgeous, brunette beauty with a tomboy streak. Now that the couple has split, a source tells EXCLUSIVELY that Rob has become a fan of a different kind of girl who is totally opposite of Kristen!

“His type now is definitely–

DEFINITELY WHAT?! Here are my guesses:

  • Blogger
  • Glasses-wearing adorkable but still all right
  • Sporty bikini babe with a brain
  • ’90s MTV VJ style but from today
  • Musician who has a good voice but only plays an instrument in the band/ensemble she is part of
  • Twitter comedian
  • Cool mom
  • Has the personality of a dog lover but doesn’t want a dog
Am I close?! What is his new typeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

“His type now is definitely blonde — it looks like he’s moving as far away from K-Stew as possible,” the source reveals.

Oh. Well, why do you think so?

When Rob and Kristen first split last summer, Rob had a fling with a sexy blonde waitress.

After filming Cosmopolis, Rob stayed friends with his beautiful blonde co-star, Sarah Gadon. Now that Kristen and Rob have ended things, will Rob and Sarah’s relationship turn into a romance?

Wait, because he had a fling and a blonde costar that he has stayed friends with? Uggggghh, HollywoodLife! PLZ DON’T GET ME RILED UP WITH THE IDEA THAT ROBERT PATTINSON HAS SWITCHED HAIR TYPES UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME SOLID EVIDENCE TO PRESENT!

Rob was also recently spotted out partying with some friends, including a blonde beauty!

Ooooooooh. All right. My bad, HollywoodLife. It’s just, it’s hard to know who has solid news to report about Robert Pattinson these days and who is just reporting stuff about Robert Pattinson that could go either way. You know? Anyway, okay, thank you! Bye!