You Can Just Do Whatever You Want

I was talking to a friend this weekend about the impending future where today’s children have already become tomorrow’s adults, when the world is governed by people with absolutely no sense of privacy. For us it seems quite bleak, but for the current crop of grown ups imagining the future crop of children being in charge is always quite bleak. (When a different friend — that’s right, I have two friends — once asked what would shock us as old people the way that mild cursing shocked our grandparents, I said that everyone would just use a dick pic as their email signature, which shows you just how doomed I already am, considering that THERE WON’T EVEN BE EMAIL SIGNATURES IN A COUPLE OF YEARS MUCH LESS THE ACTUAL FUTURE.) On the plus side for today’s children, I guess you can just do whatever you want. The way I was raised, you had to be thoughtful and careful and take your time. You had to consider how your behavior would affect those around you, and how it would reflect back on you. God forbid you made an embarrassing public mistake and tarnished your reputation. Nowadays, you can be Rebecca Black and release one of the most ridiculed and reviled videos ever made, and then later you can put out a music video where you are earnestly singing a cover of a Rihanna song and apparently that’s allowed. You can just do that! Everyone’s like: live your life, man, nothing matters, here’s a picture of my butthole on Facebook. But aren’t you friends with your mom on Facebook? Uh, I’m friends with everyone’s mom on Facebook, grow up. THE WAY WE LIVE NOW.

I’m already so bummed that in the future we’re going to vote for the President American Idol style by texting “OMG” to a different number sponsored by Papa John’s depending on who we think is the cuter candidate, but the upside is that by then it will be a Constitutional Amendment that everyone over 30 be ejected into space, so whatever, let the Tweens have their dying planet. #Enjoy #Blessed (Via ONTD.)