This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

At times like these, I think we could all use some new movie trailers. JK. At times like these no one knows what they need, so let’s just throw this at the wall and see if it sticks, though? There are certainly WORSE things you could look at than movie trailers right now. Like CNN.


Wait. Wait! Are you allowed to do this? I mean, this is literally just straight up Men in Black, right? I know that these guys are supposed to be dead and that the Men in Black weren’t dead but also MAYBE THEY WERE? Because this is definitely JUST THE SAME MOVIE THOUGH. Don’t get me wrong: Men in Black is fun, and this looks fun. It just looks the same is all. That’s ALL I’m saying. Also how much longer until they just start making Ryan Reynolds play all of the characters in every comic book movie, Eddie Murphy style?


Fuck vampires. Enough with the vampires. I’m sick of it! I’M OUT!

The Kings of Summer

More coming of age! This looks good, and I have a friend who went to Sundance (not bragging) and said it was “the breakout film of the festival.” But also there has got to be at least ONE other actor in America who can play someone’s dad besides Nick Offerman, no? I love him, but save some of the dads for the rest of us!

Romeo and Juliet

Don’t care. Who cares? If you care about this, you care about stuff no one cares about.

Only God Forgives

I’m not watching this trailer because I already watched a trailer for this movie and I am deeply on board, so why would I watch another trailer? I’m sold! But so I’m sold. You guys? Sold? (See also: Star Trek. No more trailers man!)

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

This trailer came out earlier this week and I actually chatted Kelly to tell her that watching the trailers for the Hunger Games movies makes me feel legitimately crazy. This is a movie? For children? When they come out in their costumes with their hair I am like what on Earth? And I have read all three books because I am an adult, so it’s not because I find them confusing. They’re accurate enough to the story. But also the story was kind of ridiculous. I don’t know. Whatever. Good luck, teens. You got a lot of life ahead of you to live!

Man of Steel

This looks good now and I want this very much to be good, but has a Zak Snyder movie ever been good? Then again, maybe all his other movies were just practice and this time he will nail it? Here’s a question, though: how does Superman shave? Like what razor does he use? Mallrats 2.

Star Trek Into Darkness

Again: don’t need more trailers for this, I was already planning on seeing it. People on-line this week seemed to enjoy this trailer. OK. You know what I’m going to enjoy? THE FULL MOVIE. It comes out in a few weeks, what are we, animals? Hush.