In all of the hubbub this week over the formal announcement that Jimmy Fallon would be replacing Jay Leno as the host of The Tonight Show next February, no one ever really bothered to talk about if or why anyone would even watch The Tonight Show anymore. Like, they will. I’m not saying people won’t watch it. Those fuckers will watch ANYTHING. But setting aside the argument that it is an institution, and that we all love to devote ourselves to institutions, which is why totalitarianism just as a random example picked out of nowhere lolol is able with such regularity to grab a foothold in otherwise civilized societies. But, like, OK, Jay Leno has been the host of that show for five million years, and not a single article mentioned a single thing that he is leaving behind. Ratings, yes. Cool. Ratings! Neat. But is there anything else even going on over there? Funny headlines? I feel like maybe in Caveman Times you could get away with saying that you were giving the world the gift of Funny Headlines and everyone would have put their hands in the fire (because applause hadn’t been invented yet, and no one knew what fire did). But at the very least, blogs and Twitter have eaten Funny Headlines’s lunch. And so what else? For whatever you want to say about Jimmy Fallon or late night television in general, you do have to admit that he’s come up with some fun bits. Slow Jam the News is decent. Those weird tiny hands skits that he stole from Jon Glaser are very good. And I’m a fan of Let Us Play With Your Look. He’s young and fresh faced and he’s got a lot of new ideas, I’m sure. Personally, though, I think a million monkeys recording a million late night shows for a million years would still never come up with something as good as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. He is the true king of late night, and here he is interviewing the Real Housewives of Atlanta:
Late night television is dead. Long live late night television.