Who Has The Energy For This Tonight Show Thing?

As previously mentioned, Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno “teamed up” last night at the top of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to “sing” a jokey duet about this business with a possible transition of The Tonight Show. A few weeks ago, there were speculative rumors that executives at NBC were considering ending Jay’s tenure when his contract was up in 2014 and replacing him with Jimmy Fallon, and then those rumors became full-fledged “news” when NBC revealed that it was building Jimmy Fallon a larger, state-of-the-art studio in New York. Then, of course, came the think pieces. Always with the think pieces! So at this point it seems fairly settled that Jimmy Fallon will take over The Tonight Show from Jay Leno in the fall of 2014. All of this raises the question: who has the energy for any of this? Simply typing this paragraph has really taken it out of me. You can’t see me right now, but I’m lying on a fainting couch with my arm draped over the edge. I don’t know anyone who watches late night talk shows with anything even resembling regularity. People do, I suppose. The idea that we need to get a younger host on The Tonight Show is kind of funny since I don’t think young people even watch television anymore. Do they? They are too busy SEXTing on their holospheres, aren’t they? Also why did I say we? We don’t have to do anything. These are the business decisions of a multi-billion dollar international business conglomerate. Let us bow our heads and pray for their bottom line. Look, I am not saying that every bit of entertainment news that occurs needs to be some big existential crisis, it just so happens that most bits of entertainment news that occur ARE some big existential crisis. I finally watched The Help recently. Have you seen it? It’s just as racist as I thought it would be! Yikes! But there was one part I really liked in that movie, which is the confrontation at the end of the movie between Aibileen and Miss Hilly when she asks “Aren’t you tired?” because it really must be exhausting to be such a horrible person. So much energy wasted. You know? You know what I mean? Like, AREN’T YOU TIRED MISS NBC WATCHDOGS?