Oh Shut Up, Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift is on the cover of the new issue of Vanity Fair, because I guess we finally ran out of photos of JFK Jr. (oh snap very good Vanity Fair covers burn, Gabe!). She says a bunch of stuff in the article, I guess, I haven’t read it because I am a grown man and I recognize that my time on this Earth is limited and therefore precious, but there is one quote that is getting the most buzz today. It is what Taylor Swift said in response to being asked about Tina Fey and Amy Poehler making a joke about her at the Golden Globes. From Vanity Fair (via Vulture)

“Katie Couric is one of my favorite people because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.'”

Ayo fucking shut the fuck up though, Taylor Swift! You humorless monster! For one thing, that is just a very lame reaction to what was for sure a decent joke about you. But more importantly, if you want be the torchbearer of protecting women, you are going to need to find some better enemies than AMY POEHLER and TINA FEY. If anything, this proposal of them as being anti-woman shows just how little Taylor Swift actually understands about, well, everything, but also women and the world of women and the women in that world of women. Not to mention the fact that even if Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were good anti-feminist targets to single out, there are very few things that are less pro-woman than claiming that a woman you don’t like for any reason is going to hell. Do you see, Taylor Swift, how that logic kind of circles back on itself and chokes to death? It’s like Batman said, heroes either die or live long enough to shut up Taylor Swift. I do love that Katie Couric is one of her favorite people because she told her that she heard a quote one time. OMG, BFF 4EVA! “I heard a quote one time.” “Do you want to sleep over?!” (Verbatim.) Anyway but shut up, Taylor Swift. The only thing I want to hear coming out of your mouth is Diet Coke burps.