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Monsters Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

So, here’s the thing: life is hard and things happen. We all know that, it has been almost TOO well documented. This week, nothing about any of that changed and both of those FACTS remained as true as ever. Long story short, and a story that is mostly none of anyone’s business, and a story that is all too familiar, Mary is no longer with us. She is still alive! Do not worry about that part! She is alive and everything! While she wasn’t with us for very long, it seemed inappropriate to just move on as if nothing had happened, even if as I mentioned, what happened is none of your business. But just know that it was out of pretty much everyone’s control, and we all love and appreciate her for what she contributed while she was here, and we are all excited to see what she does next! Oh, and you should (continue) to follow her at RatsOff no duh no doy! Now if the bartender could just pour out a round of shots onto the ground for me and all of my friends in her honor, that would be great. One more round of applause for Mary everyone, please? Thank you.

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Jim Carrey Wearing Big Fake Feet For Some Reason Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5  R2D2, Esq. | Feb 25th Score:45

“I don’t think the people who put the show together knew what kind of show they wanted, so they just threw everything out there.”

Welcome to Seth MacFarlane’s entire career.

Posted in: It Might Finally Be Time To Admit That The Oscars Inherently Suck
#4  imsteph | Feb 25th Score:50

Well said, though I do think cunt is a word with plenty of historical baggage. I mean at least in the sense that it is an easy, clipped, four-letter way to remind a woman of her place in the world, a place that has been defined through a couple milleniums of disgusting history.

Posted in: Dear Comedy, Just So You Know, You Are Allowed To Apologize
#3  Frank Lloyd Wrong | Feb 26th Score:54

Gabe, “a” martial arts class? C’mon. Don’t be modest about your accomplishments.

Posted in: Never Leave The House
#2  Apartment Tiger | Feb 25th Score:69

“Local Idiot Learns it is not Okay to Call a Little Girl a Cunt.”

Posted in: Dear Comedy, Just So You Know, You Are Allowed To Apologize
#1  Patrick M | Feb 25th Score:82

How is LA? Are you making any friends?

Posted in: It Might Finally Be Time To Admit That The Oscars Inherently Suck

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Great job this week, guys. A little weird of FLW to have that photo of Gabe committed to memory to the extent that he not only knew what the shirt he was wearing said, but was also able to call it to mind at the exact right moment, but NO JUDGIES! You’re all great and beautiful and I hope someone tells you that every day.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1  nilbog44 | Feb 25th Score:-9

I think this whole article is completely off base and completely misses the point. And I think David Carr’s tweet was perfect.

Posted in: Dear Comedy, Just So You Know, You Are Allowed To Apologize

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahah. Ok!]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

  Frank Lloyd Wrong | Feb 26th Score:44

“Hey. Jim. Here’s my number. Let’s do something this weekend.” — Quentin Tarantino.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It Contest: Jim Carrey Wearing Big Fake Feet For Some Reason

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Frank Lloyd Wrong! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

  old man fatima | 10:36am Score:15

Once I was running errands on my lunch break, and when I came out of the store a huge sinkhole had opened up right behind my back tires, and the guy in front was parked super close so I was stuck there and starting to panic, but then when the firefighters arrived to do whatever it is you’re meant to do when a sinkhole opens up I asked them if they could lift my car out like a Mentos commercial because it was a small car, and they did! Firefighters are the best, you guys (except for the time I saw a dog stuck in a tree (???) and called the fire dept because it was a holiday and animal control was closed, and they got really mad at me for wasting their time because they had real things to worry about, but then they sent some guys over anyway so it was all ok, except the dog was too aggressive because it had been stuck in a tree and was scared so they had to give up and let animal control deal with it the next day anyway. So yeah, they were still the best, but the were rude to me for a bit before they were the best again).

Strangely enough, that is not even the only time I’ve had strange men lift my car out of a sticky spot like in a Mentos commercial.

Posted in: Whoops! Go Back To Bed, Everybody!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: I like the sinkhole story (“like”=”hate”) (SINKHOLES!) and I like that this started a chain of people talking about how no one doesn’t love firefighters. Great work all around.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

[Ed. Note: This is perfect and I am jealous that I did not think of it.]