The other day when we posted something or other about Courtney Stodden, America’s Second Queen Probably After Beyonce Right?, someone tweeted that they did not know who Courtney Stodden was but that Videogum posted more articles about her than [we] do movie reviews. OUCH. OK, uh, that is, like, a totally legitimate criticism. Uh. No, yeah, totally. Here’s the thing: sorry? We will work on that. I was going to write a review of Die Hard, which I was supposed to see with my brother last week, but then one thing led to another and I still haven’t seen it, although I think it has a 99% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is pretty impressive. You can’t throw a rock without hitting a positive review of Die Hard these days. Not that I am even suggesting that a Die Hard review would make up for our overall lack of relevant film criticism in recent months. How about this: how about you take a look at what movies are coming out in the next few weeks, and you let us know which movies you I MEAN WE are going to see, and we will just plan accordingly, OK? But seriously, Courtney Stodden did record a vlog this weekend in which she pretends to be some vaguely foreign but equally insipid gumball named Courtina. Not even sure anymore.
Honestly, I know that Courtney Stodden is just a horrifying portrayal of what our modern culture’s insistence on the immeasurable premium on “being famous at any cost” can do to a human being’s tender and unsupervised brain, but you have to admit that it’s a bus you’re not entirely sure you’re ready to get off of yet. Your hand is on the pull wire, tense and a little clammy, but you haven’t pulled it yet. Is this my stop? I feel like my stop is coming up. Is this it? One more stop? Why does the bus smell like this? Who am I talking to? My feet are so tired! (Via Dlisted.)