Kevin Connolly Is So Jealous Of Leonardo DiCaprio, Oh My God, You Have No Idea

Celebrity gossip like this — the kind that comes from “sources” who overhear something at a restaurant or someplace — is ridiculous and not really something I spend a lot of time looking at, personally, (if you can believe it!), because 9.5 times out of 10 it seems false and invasive and boring. But then there is that .5th time where it’s just, like, so on the nose and sounds so much like how humans act and talk that you feel as if you are IN that restaurant with Leonardo DiCaprio, Kevin Connolly, and those twelve women!!! From Starcrush:

Leonardo DiCaprio recently had dinner in New York with his friend/fellow actor Kevin Connolly and 12 women (because 13 would’ve just been silly) [Ed. Note: Perfect. Perfect perfect perfect.] and allegedly spent the entire time bragging about how everyone else is just dying to spend a day in his shoes.

According to an eavesdropper who was supposedly sitting next to the group, “Leo talked about the fact that he is sleeping with ‘multiple women’ right now. He was totally open about it. Kevin looked at Leo and told him, ‘I want to be you.’”

“Leo replied, ‘Everyone does,’” the snitch said. “He was acting very nice, but is very arrogant.”

After promising to take Connolly on vacation someday (just ask Jonah Hill what that’s like), Leo footed the entire bill and took everyone clubbing before heading back to a room he’d booked at the Trump hotel.

Surrounded by 12 women and Kevin Connoly, Leonardo DiCaprio, speaking to no one and everyone, declares, “I’m sleeping with multiple women.” Kevin turns to him and says, quietly, reverently, “I want to be you.” Leo: “Everyone does. I promise to take you on vacation someday.” The 12 women clink their forks to their full plates without speaking. Kevin Connolly’s eyes widen at the prospect of being taken on vacation. “Me?” he thinks to himself, “A member of the pussy posse?” Leo’s steely blue eyes lock with Kevin’s as if to say, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Kevin. I take lots of men on vacation.” Still, Kevin remains lost in the idea until he looks up and realizes the 12 women and Leo were gone. Was it all a dream, he wonders? Were the 12 women meant to be the 12 apostles, and was Leo meant to be Jesus? Do I have to pay, or…?