Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

As tough as this week has been (and also just right off the bat: my apologies to the people of Egypt, Mali, Mexico City, Pakistan, and Brazil for even using the word “tough.” That is obviously the wrong week. And Taylor Swift and Diet Coke can both go fuck themselves to death) it has still been a pretty lively week for comments, and that is what we are here to celebrate! I would also like to take a quick second and thank Jason Reich and Emily Gordon for their contributions. Very niiiiice. (Borat.) Let’s all kick back and relax, open a cool one and enjoy THE BIG GAME! Who do you think is going to win? The San Fransisco Samsung Galaxys? Or the Baltimore GoDaddys?! Nnnnn…..IT’S EXCITING! (Again: my apologies to Egypt, Mali, Mexico City, Pakistan, Brazil, and also Syria and the multiple locations in the United States where there were mass shootings this week good lord up in heaven.) TGIF, though, right?!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Malcolm In The Breaking Bad Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editors’ Choices.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 badideajeans | Jan 28th Score:39

When the deal goes badly, will she write a song about breaking up with a soft drink?

Posted in: Some Extraordinary News
#4 KajusX & Chainsaws | Jan 31st Score:42

I ate four cookies this morning.

Posted in: How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
#3 huckabeast | Jan 29th Score:51

“Okay, sir, it’s a little involved, but I think I’ve come up with a plan to get Russel Brand out of our yoga studio forever.”

Posted in: Russel Brand Staged A Walkout At A Yoga Studio Because Huh?
#2 catweazle | Jan 28th Score:52

Watch out, Gabe. Pretty sure Taylor is already writing a song about this:

Thought his blog was cool

‘Til he made me look like a fool

Please turn off that capslock key

And stop being so mean to me!

Posted in: Some Extraordinary News
#1 topknot | Jan 28th Score:54

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you rest your case.

Posted in: Some Extraordinary News

[Assoc. Ed. Note: And that, ladies and gentleman, is how you get a top comment in Monsters’ Ball. Also congrats to huckabeast for making me so mad that I did not say that in the original post. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, EVERYBODY!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 ptsmith_vt | Jan 25th Score:-6
Isn’t him leaving Star Trek alone pretty much a dream, though?
Posted in: JJ Abrams To Direct New Space Balls Movie!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahahah. APPARENTLY NOT!]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Peter Bonerz! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Mary)

heimaey | Jan 29th Score:8

“I’m not licking her butt” loser – go hard or go home you half-asser!

Posted in: That’s Your Girlfriend: Lisa, Who Eats Cat Hair Right Off Her Cat

[Assoc. Ed. Note: LOL! Congrats, heimaey. You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Kelly)

lil sebastian | Jan 30th Score:12

wait… did you really just spoil New Girl? not cool.

Posted in: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: VW’s Racist Super Bowl Commercial

[Assoc. Ed. Note: I just love that this is the first comment in a very long debate about racism.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

Jeb | Jan 30th Score:5

Goof Troupe:Avengers

Gabe Delahaye:Hulk

Max Silvestri:Thor

Gabe Liedman:Hawkeye

Jenny Slate:Doy, Black Widow

Joe Mande:Captain America

Jon Daly:That guy from SHIELD who always shows up.


[Ed. Note: Obviously, the true Editor’s Choice this week was CrystalStarxx’s comment: “wow seriously diet coke” but that was posted on YouTube and therefore not eligible. And the entire racist Super Bowl ad thread gets a big thumbs up. But I chose this comment because the idea of a Joe Mande Captain America has been making me laugh all week.]