Duh Aficionado Magazine: Drew Barrymore Has The Wine

If you were to ask me, “what’s something that Drew Barrymore has?” at any point in the past ten years I would have probably answered, “her own brand of wine,” but I would have been wrong. She didn’t. UNTIL NOW. From the official website (via BuzzFeed):

A fan of crisp, fruity white wines, Barrymore has created a wine that reflects her style and personality: fresh, dynamic and fun.

Sounds fun. (Also DYNAMIC!) Guys, you know Drew, she is a fan of crisp, fruity white wines. If you give her a white wine it better be crisp and fruity or you better have a pre-written apology letter stamped and ready to post. I’m just going to assume that the wine was created in honor of her family, but let’s make sure:

Drew Barrymore has created this wine in honor of her family. Her travels throughout Italy inspired her to create a Pinot Grigio that she enjoys with family and friends, and hopes that you will as well. A portion of the proceeds from the purchase of this wine will benefit charity.

Nailed it! You know what’s really neat? Legally you can say that a portion of the proceeds from a purchase go to benefit charity and as long as you don’t say what portion you don’t have to publicly disclose how much money you actually gave. It can be pennies on the dollar! OR LESS! For all we know, 0.00000000000% of the purchase price of every bottle of the fun and kicky new Drew Barrymore Pinot Grigiot goes directly to the “Drew Is Pretty Fund.” It’s a dope way to make yourself seem like a good person without any of the hassle of actually being a good person. CLASSIC DREW. Love her. Love wine. Love her wine.