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“I Have The Wine” By Johnny Cash

You know, we make a lot of fun around here of the people on the game show who say the stupid thing. This is because these people are ridiculous and very funny. But the simple fact that these people understand but which we ourselves so often gloss over is that sometimes in this life you have to attempt to solve the puzzle. That is what we are here for, after all. And OK, the lights are in your face, and your left armpit is sweating more than your right armpit for some reason, and you keep touching your hair to make sure it looks OK but now you think you’ve crossed the line into touching it too much to the point where if your hair does look bad it’s going to be from the touching, and you can hear your best friend screaming at you from the audience but it would be just like your best friend to steer you in the wrong direction so that next week she can tell everyone how you totally biffed it on TV and she was there to see it, and Pat Sajack is standing in front of you waiting for a response and you notice for the first time how thick the layer of pancake make up on his face is and the entire artifice of the entertainment industry begins to crumble in front of your very eyes, and as it falls you begin to wonder if we are even still talking in metaphors anymore or if somehow this blogger is simply describing the highly specific and uncommon experience of literally being on The Wheel of Fortune, but we’ll never know because the answer clock is ticking and rules are rules and so you just put yourself out there. You are, after all, in this to win this.

Of course, if you’re going to put yourself out there, which you should, it helps to have a smarter self. (Via Dlisted.)