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Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Let me be the first and also the last to apologize for all of the technical difficulties you may have encountered on the site over the past couple of weeks. I mean, who else is going to apologize for that? Bill Gates? I’m the only one who understands or cares what you are going through. Does anyone on the whole planet have lives harder than our lives? Doubtful. We wanted to write/read a mildly humorous pop culture blog about Anderson Cooper Banana Police and the servers were being problematic! WHY DON’T WE ALL JUST JUMP INTO THE OCEAN AND DROWNED TO DEATH WE CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. Hopefully your weekend will be free of any technical difficulties. Hopefully your weekend will operate at 100% full capacity. Enj0y 1t!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Ryan Gosling With Ryan Gosling Painting Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editors’ Choices.


This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5  Kate | Jan 8th Score:35

People also ask Kelly what grade she’s in. Come on people, she’s in grown-up grade.

Posted in: Today We Are All Emma Watson At The Airport
#4  imsteph | Jan 10th Score:36

Yea because when a newly divorced male movie star goes on fucky vacation, he’s always called out for not talking to the 50+ women.

Posted in: Sounds Like Topper Had A Fun New Year’s
#3  Funtastik | Jan 8th Score:38

HERE ARE ALL MY ARGUMENTS IN A ROW DON’T SPEAK HERE’S A TANGENT TO MY TANGENT BECAUSE YOU’RE WRONG AND NOW I’M SPEAKING IN AN ACCENT.

Posted in: That’s Your Boyfriend: Alex Jones
#2  newbie | Jan 8th Score:38

Everyone knows that the louder you yell, the more compelling your argument.

Posted in: That’s Your Boyfriend: Alex Jones
#1  Frank Lloyd Wrong | Jan 7th Score:47

“Did you hear that a terrorist successfully deployed a dirty bomb at the White House? Apparently, he was a member of Al Roker.” — Ghost of Johnny Carson

Posted in: BREAKING: AL ROKER POOPED HIS PANTS AT THE WHITE HOUSE

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Frank Lloyd Wrong has the honor of having both the highest and lowest rated comments this week! And he deserves both of them! Congrats, FLW. You really did it. Also congrats to everyone else, this is a great group of comments! Very glad you said that, imsteph; I was thinking the same thing. Thx mom for saying what you said. HAVE GREAT WEEKENDS!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

[Assoc. Ed. Note: As I said, you deserve it.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, hotspur! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Mary)

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Oh man, the entire thread of comments on the Roker post is so great! You are all winners! (Go back and read this thread, everyone. It will make you laugh.) Jokes that tie in other jokes we like to make are usually worth at least twice the laugh value, though, don’t you agree? Congrats, Superglue! #NeverTrustAFart.]

  Superglue | Jan 7th Score:27

This is what happens when you let the journalist in you take over.

Posted in: BREAKING: AL ROKER POOPED HIS PANTS AT THE WHITE HOUSE

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Kelly)

  flanny | Jan 7th Score:7

I feel for the poor janitor who had to empty out that bathroom trash can.

Posted in: BREAKING: AL ROKER POOPED HIS PANTS AT THE WHITE HOUSE

[Assoc. Ed. Note: YES.]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  catweazle | Jan 9th Score:24

An exclusive excerpt from Garrett’s 70 pages in Brazil:

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Garrett Hedlund Is Not A Writer

[Ed. Note: You want to earn that Editor’s Choice this year? You want to join the big leagues? THEN YOU GOT 2 PUT IN THE WORK.]