What Would Ryan Lochte Do, Though?

Ever since he either won or lost in the Swimlympics, whenever those happened (in my memory they lasted for 13 months 100 years ago?), there have been rumors about a possible Ryan Lochte reality show. “Why?” asked no one. He is handsome and popular and says the complete dumbest things whenever he makes sounds with his mouth, which is the perfect recipe for a tasty reality dish. (Yuck.) And now it’s finally happening, 100 years later yaaayyy! From Deadline:

The long-rumored E! reality series starring Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte is now a reality. Network president Suzanne Kolb made the announcement today during the E! Entertainment portion of the TCA press tour. Titled What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, the six-episode series from Intuitive Entertainment will feature the “vivescent” Lochte, Kolb said, adding that E! brass wondered “How deep is the pool of Ryan Lochte? It turns out, very deep.” [Ed Note: Hahah. Very good.] The episodes will feature the swimmer partying and training as he prepares for the 2016 Rio Olympics while building his fashion line, making media appearances, dealing with his close-knit and outspoken family and friends and looking for the right girl.

Haha, “while building his fashion line.” Totally. This is a very solid idea for a dumb reality show and I’m sure it will be at least successful enough to warrant its existence, so what else can one really say? What would Ryan Lochte say, do you think? “The thing that’s good about the show is me — Ryan Lochte.” “Well, I got a call and the phone said, ‘Show’s about you?’ so I was like, ‘Jeah, a’course.” Haha. That handsome dummy. All we can really do at this point is guess the answers to the question proposed in the title: What Would Ryan Lochte Do?

  • Swim
  • Party
  • Nod
  • Smile
  • Dance on a girl
  • Hug mom
  • Sit in on a meeting
  • Answer cellphone, “Jeah?”
  • Fight with sister
  • Make-up
  • Tie shoes
  • Spa treatment

Fun fun fuuuuuuun! Sometimes you just gotta dust off that old imagination and let it run free!