The Perfect Crime: Mouthful Of Ice Cream Bandit

Of course, OF COURSE, some police in Canada are seeking a man for stealing a single mouthful of ice cream. Like no duh that is one of the main issues going on in that country right now. I’m not making fun. Props to Canada. You guys are living teh dream. But also hahaha. Canadian criminals, step your game up. From the CBC:

Windsor Police are looking for a break-in suspect with a sweet tooth.

Police say a man broke into a Twistee Treat soft-serve ice cream kiosk in Windsor, Ont., earlier this month but left empty handed. No cash was stolen but security footage shows a man turning on the ice cream machine and dispensing soft ice cream directly into his mouth.

It is worth pointing out that Windsor is home to many of Canada’s largest casinos. So this is literally the Canadian version of Ocean’s 11. Which also means they will never catch this guy. He’s a ghost. He’s not just one step ahead, he’s three steps ahead, and two steps back. He is the cat, and he is here to steal. Check out the riveting security camera footage after the jump:

:The perfect crime for real. Canada, meet Kaizer Soze. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was filling his mouth with just a little bit of ice cream. And like that, poof. He’s gone.