“Man Finds Jesus On Tortilla” Story Is Perfect

It’s December 20th. There is only one day left in the work week before we all leave for our Holiday work vacations, and possibly only one day left before our world meets its timely end — the perfect time to hear an incredible story about a Texan man finding what he thinks is a burn mark that looks just like Jesus on his “breakfast tortilla” and reflect about all the different ways we might be missing Jesus in our own lives. Was there Jesus in the oysters you ate last night? Is there Jesus on the pan in the sink? Was there Jesus in McGriddle you ate this morning? Possibly. And you will never know, because you didn’t take a second and look. Now how are you winning all of your “lottery games” that you buy at the grocery strore? You’re probably not winning them, right!? Well there you go. We can’t all be as lucky as this man who for sure, 100% found a perfect representation of Jesus on his tortilla and then got to be on the news about it for reasons that are less clear than anything, but we can certainly try. That’s the thing about this news story. Also the thing about it: Watch it!

AHHHHHHHHHHH! PERFECT STORY! PERFECT LENGTH! “Should we ask him anything else about the Jesus tortilla? I mean, we are doing a story about it, so there must be something more we want to know.” “No, end on the lottery thing.” “But–” “END ON THE LOTTERY THING, IT WILL BE PERFECT.” (PS: Hairbox.) (Via KHOU.)