Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

A brief note on what happened today: there is no note on what happened today. There’s absolutely nothing to be said about it, especially not here. It’s unimaginable, and devastating, and it is the worst, and words have no power against it. Well, no, there is one thing to say: no more guns, thanks. That sounds like a facile argument, and that’s because it is. Facile means simple, and this is simple. No more. And that was just as true yesterday as it was today. That was true before Columbine, which was almost 15 years ago, and there was a whole movie about it and everything. And here is another thing (I guess there is something to say about all of this after all): everyone has work to do and a life they have no choice but to keep living. Does it feel stupid and obnoxious to post movie trailers in the midst of this kind of tragedy? Yes it does. But the worst part is that posting movie trailers or not posting movie trailers is the same thing, it just doesn’t matter either way. There is nothing that we can say or post that will ever help, and there are far smarter and more influential people to report and comment and legislate on this type of thing. The world continues to spin, and rent continues to be due on the first of the month. So I guess there were a couple of things to say in the end. On days like this it is always weird to run a pop culture website about trampoline farts and Courtney Stodden ATM receipts, but I will not use the word “hard” because we are constantly being reminded in the worst way possible what the word “hard” actually means. And I’m not going to say that our thoughts and prayers are with anyone because when we do that on this site it is always a joke about people doing that, and in this case there are no jokes. But obviously everyone is overwhelmed and saddened. It is too much. It really feels most of the time like it is too much.

After the jump, a blog post about Internet comments. Sometimes you just have to keep busy.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5  Jeb | Dec 10th Score:48

Jerry’s dentist starts manufacturing meth.

Posted in: Best New Party Game: @SeinfeldToday
#4  truckasaurus | Dec 12th Score:52

I don’t know, this incident on the Today show kinda proves that she’s smart and quick-thinking and not just some stupid fame whore.

Posted in: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer?
#3  KW | Dec 12th Score:57

I would be so creeped/grossed out if a guy tried to make a joke about how he’s seen my vagina. “haha! I saw your vagina! Even though you didn’t want me to! Hilarious!”

Posted in: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer?
#1  Jeb | Dec 12th Score:76

“So, Mrs. Lincoln, seen any good plays lately?” -Matt Fucking Lauer

Posted in: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer?

[Assoc. Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1  timmybear | Dec 12th Score:-21

I dunno about all this. Matt Lauer is the worst and all but Anne Hathaway is kind of full of so much shit. First of all, I saw the debate about whether or not it matters whether her defense was her own idea or her publicist’s. Honestly, it doesn’t matter except for the fact that people were lauding her for coming up with a response on the spot. So it doesn’t matter if it was her, her publicist, or a room full of monkeys smashing on typewriters. That was clearly planned and rehearsed long before Matt Lauer decided to open his mouth.

Second, it really annoys me when people who have done nude scenes (I’m pretty sure she has done at least 2) speak out against “commodifying” sex. You can call it art all you want (like the comedy/drama/romance Love and Other Drugs) but at the end of the day you are selling a movie with your boobies. Not to mention the fact that she was wearing an outfit in which “showing your vagina” is a major risk.

Third, comparing a famous and wealthy movie star (yourself) showing her vagina (your vagina), accidental or not, to a bunch of cameras with a character that is forced into prostitution by a combination of crippling poverty and a desire to provide her child with a better life is completely asinine.

Yeah it’s gross that people are waiting and hoping for a slip up like this so they can sell a picture of a famous woman’s privates. Bu everyone knows that is what’s happening. It’s not a secret that hasn’t been on the front of magazines over and over again. If Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Gwyneth Paltrow (I’m kind of just listing people who I think this has happened to but some of them may be incorrect) are idiots for doing this, Anne Hathaway does not get a pass because she made and eloquent, bullshit speech to a douchebag. She and Matt deserve each other.

Posted in: What The Fuck, Matt Lauer?

[Assoc. Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

  explainer guy tries again!! | Dec 11th Score:27

that tree is the only living thing in that picture.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Merry Christmas From Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt

[Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Mary)

  gnidrah | Dec 11th Score:18

The Sweet Smell of Sock-cess

Posted in: Congratulations To Rob Kardashian On The Launch Of His Sock Line!!!!!!!!!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Kelly)

  glamazon | Dec 13th Score:12

We have a program at my work where kids can read out loud to a St. Bernard to practice their reading out loud skills. Half of the time, the dog is dozing off or waiting for a belly rub, but the kids love it, and it is so darn cute. When it was the dog’s birthday, she was wearing a giant birthday hat, and the kids all got to wear birthday hats too. The days she comes to visit are the highlights of the month!

Posted in: Sometimes Being A Parent Means Being A Jerk

[Assoc. Ed. Note: please see above.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  solid | Dec 12th Score:4

Baberdab Caberbabs

Posted in: How To Get A Trademark Benedict Cumberbatch Stomach

[Ed. Note: please see above.]