This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

Guys, you know I don’t usually say this, but this is a great week for trailers! There’s a ton of good ones in here! I guess it must be that time of year where they are trying to get us pumped up for six months from now when it is warm again and the movies are flowing like sweet berry wine. And guess what: it worked! I’M SUPER PUMPED! FOR SOME OF THESE MOVIES BUT NOT ALL OF THEM! Let’s check ‘em out, cool:

After Earth

This movie has everything I would normally want in a movie. Exciting space adventures. Great action sequences. Nifty space suits. Mankind’s eternal struggle with loneliness, existential dread, and the search for purpose in an indifferent and absurd universe. But the idea of watching Jaden Smith running around ALONE for two hours makes me want to cryosleep my eyes out. Also what is wrong with Will Smith’s accent? Is that how they crashed? Mayday! Mayday! We have a serious accent malfunction we are going down! Ah repeat, we ahre goin’ down! Oh also M. Night Shyamalan suuuuuucks I feel like that goes without saying and yet needs to be said constantly.


This. Looks. Great. Let’s. Leave. It. At. That.

Man of Steel

Cool. Everyone deserves a seventh chance, right Zak Snyder?

Lone Ranger

Yo, Is This Racist?: The Movie.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

I never saw the first GI Joe, and it is a particularly silly franchise on par with Transformers but even a little sillier in a way because it doesn’t have the catchy angle of cool robots, but I have to admit this movie looks kind of fun in the way dumb terrible things like this can also just be so so fun. Also The Rock, man. THE ROCK.


I could not get through this trailer. I love documentaries and I work on the Internet and I totally heard music once, but what a snooze. Hey, maybe it’s the best documentary ever made! Not the best trailer for a documentary, though.

The Sorcerer And The White Snake

This looks kind of fun and cool but it also looks kind of a cornball mess. A BIT LIKE LIFE. Hahahha. TGIF.



Pacific Rim

Uh oh! Look, I’m excited for this. Guillermo Del Toro is interesting, and give it up to mecha fighting trans-dimensional sea beasts, also IDRIS ELBA, but I def have some problems at least right now. For one thing, that last shot of the robot flying through the bridge and then catching his balance is just some straight up Optimus Prime shit. Second of all, if the tag line is “To Fight Monsters We Created Monsters” then it suggests that the actual drama of the movie is going to be that the robots go rogue or something, which is cool and interesting but why isn’t that represented here? It’s not like the trailer isn’t already too complicated. “We used to think there were aliens but instead there’s a portal in the ocean and also did you see Avatar?” There’s a lot going on, so a little bit more that makes this feel like something besides SUPER PUNCH OUT would have been nice oh well u cannot have it all.