Probably Not The Worst Thing “Burrito Surprise” Could Mean, Honestly

I’m not going to lie to you: This is a news story that you are going to wish you did not watch, once you have watched it. That’s life. That’s basically every local news story. Either someone has died in a way that is profoundly depressing or someone has found something disgusting in what they were going to eat, or maybe someone is STILL unemployed and can you believe that they are still unemployed? Or there is a can drive going on for the holidays. It’s a sad world out there. You can’t just escape it by not watching a video that you totally 100% do not have to watch because it has very little to do with your own life, and you would have avoided it successfully if a video blog did not call it to your attention. YOU’RE STILL LIVING HERE! People are still buying breakfast burritos from McDonald’s. You’ll probably buy one at the airport someday. People are still going to have nose rings for whatever reason. Someday one of those nose rings is going to end up in your breakfast burrito. Each year 8 nose rings end up in your breakfast burrito from McDonald’s and you don’t even know it, probably. Let’

One time a friend of mine ordered a burrito from a restaurant and it had a rock in it. That is, thankfully, the closest thing I have to a story about someone finding something disgusting in their fast food. (Which I’m sure only means that there are SO MANY STORIES I’VE MISSED?) Maybe we should all just stay in our homes? You can definitely find gross stuff in things you buy at the grocery store too, so maybe we should all just grow our own vegetables. I’m not sure what to do about drinking water. Wherever you get that from, it probably has something gross in it. Let’s just see how long we can survive on the vegetables alone. Deal? Perfect. BURRITO SURPRISE! (Via Gawker.)