Today Our Hearts Are With Anderson Cooper’s Eyeballs

I’d like to ask you all to please take a few moments out of your day, go into the bathroom, splash water on your face, put your elbows on the sink, put your head in your hands, breathe deeply in and out, try not to think about anything — nothing at all, clear your mind, and then think about this story about eyeballs that Anderson Cooper told on Anderson Live:

I am in this beautiful coastal area shooting this story for 60 Minutes involving the water — I don’t want to go into details about what the story was — but I am on the water for two hours shooting this story and it’s an overcast day,” says Cooper. “I wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like my eyes are on fire, my eyeballs, and I think, ‘Oh, maybe I have sand in my eyes or something.’ I douse my eyes with water. Anyway, it turns out I have sunburned my eyeballs and I go blind. I went blind for 36 hours.

EWWWWW! EW! EWWWW! AHHHH! NOOOOOOO! One time I tore my contact and got half of it stuck in my eye and had to go to the eye doctor to have him fish it out, and I only feel compelled to tell that horrible eyeball story to WASH THE TASTE OF THIS ONE OUT OF MY MOUTH. Please keep Anderson in your hearts and prayers today. He went blind for 36 hours. His eyeballs will be peeling for at least a month. They’re so red. The aloe isn’t helping. (I’m so sorry!!) Anderson!