Where Was Padma On 9/11?

It used to be that every American had a personal story about where they were when they found out that John F. Kennedy was shot, but slowly over time, every single person who was alive in 1963 died and was replaced by cooler, hotter people on razor scooters, and now all of those people have iPads and stories about where they were on 9/11. Same diff, LOL. My favorite thing about people’s 9/11 stories is hearing them! 3,000 people died, but tell me more about you. Anyway, Salman Rushdie (1947-1964) has a new memoir out, and Eater has collected 11 facts about Padma from the book that we didn’t know before. This is great because it’s important to put personal information and anecdotes into your wedding vows to make them more touching. Also now we FINALLY get to know where Padma was on 9/11:

On September 11th, Rushdie was in Houston on a book tour. Air travel was a standstill, but he reached out to her:: “He called Padma in Los Angeles to say he was coming to see her. She said she was doing a lingerie shoot.”

Hahaha. Sure. It’s not like Padma could have done anything about 9/11 from Los Angeles. She’s not Gwyneth Paltrow, who saved a life in New York by barely not hitting a woman with her SUV, but would have saved a life anywhere by not hitting a woman with her SUV. American hero. Besides, we already know that 9/11 is Mark Wahlberg’s fault. (Thanks for nothing, dude!) It’s just funny to imagine Padma at the inevitable “Sharing of the Personal 9/11 Stories” that happens at the occasional dinner party or whatever. She either has to grandiosely explain that doing the lingerie shoot was her own attempt at “returning life to some kind of normalcy,” or she has to talk about how the photo shoot was eventually canceled, and she probably inserts some kind of harmless “at my insistence, of course” lie to make herself look better (as if that’s possible!). OR, being the media savvy, ultra-sexy professional that she is, she tactfully omits the lingerie shoot altogether, which is wise, and talks about being glued to her television for three days straight “just like everyone else,” but even then, you know in her head all she can remember is her 9/11 lingerie shoot. One tear rolls down her perfect cheek. And I wipe it away. Because we are man and wife.