This clip from The Today Show in 1984 does a good job about answering a lot of the questions I had about the haunted toaster (does fire come out, is it happy or sad, is it good at making toast) but there are still a few lingering, like:

  • Have you ever looked inside?
  • If yes: I’m imagining a tiny claymation Hell scene. Is that correct?
  • Do you ever talk to the toaster? Is it ever nice, or is it always just mean?
  • Do you think it’s lonely?
  • A few years ago I had a toaster and when I put a piece of toast in and pulled the lever down A MOUSE POPPED OUT. Do you think that is worse or not as bad as your toaster?
  • That was a trick question, it was much worse and then I DID buy a new toaster.
  • Do you have feelings for the spirit (Satan, presumably) that possesses the toaster?
  • It’s fine if you do! Seriously, no judging. It’s probably nice to have someone around all the time who you can depend on, no matter who they are.
  • And that would help to explain why you don’t want to get rid of it. Seriously, no judging.
  • What if it breaks? Will you repair it?
  • Where is it now?
  • Where are you now?
  • R U ok?

We can only hope that Today will do a 30-year anniversary follow-up. #satanlives (Via Abroath.)