The First Thanksgiving Jam Of Thanksgiving 2012

This is terrible. I’ve been sitting here for ten minutes trying to come up with something funny to say, like, pretending that this was cool when it isn’t and being like “so dooooooope,” or taking a more realistic but still ironic tack about how if this was the first song ever recorded in human existence then we would never make it past this song to more music, or how they should rewrite that “dance like nobody’s watching” expression into something about “make a music video like nobody has the Internet,” and none of it is really working because the fact of the matter is that this is just very very bad, and lies begin to weigh on you. I can’t do it. Heavy is the crown? No. That’s not right either. God, I’m all turned around. Are your ears ringing? Who smells almonds? (Thanks for the tip, Frank Lloyd Wrong.)