BREAKING NEWS STORY: Is Jon Hamm’s Longtime Girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt Making Him Wear Underwear?!

By now, we have all seen at least one picture of Jon Hamm’s giant penis inside of his pants. Right? Or is that a normal size penis? UH OH! BUSTED! I have no idea. Wait, yo, real quick, how big is everyone’s penis? Asking for a friend. Anyway, Jon Hamm’s longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt is apparently SICK OF IT, and is now MAKING HIM WEAR UNDERWEAR. Maybe. I literally no longer have any clear idea whatsoever if anything is true at all. But if this is true, it’s a real bombshell, right ladies? “Booo! Let’s riot in a street!” Hahaha. That’s you ladies. From Star magazine (via Celebitchy):

“Jennifer is furious with Jon for walking around, letting it all hang out,” tattles a pal. “Jon has always preferred being au natural, but after yet another round of pictures popped up, Jen freaked out.”

“Jennifer was already feeling insecure over Jon’s sex-symbol status, and the pictures were the last straw,” explains the source. “Jen is modest and shy – now all her friends are snickering about how lucky she is.”

So Jennifer has taken matters into her own hands [Editor’s note: I bet she needs BOTH HANDS], so to speak. “She’s bought him monogrammed boxers, Calvin Klein briefs, boxer briefs – you name it. She told him that whether he likes it or not, he’s wearing underwear!”

I do love that she bought him every kind of underwear, monogrammed. You never know, guys. She did not want to run the risk of him not wearing underwear due to some silly loophole like because she didn’t buy him boxer briefs and although he normally wears boxers she should know that he’s going to want boxer briefs for the Met Costume Gala where all of the flash photography happens, oh well, and besides, this underwear isn’t even monogrammed how do you expect him to leave the house?! Hahha. This is fun. We are all human beings and I love that about us. We will continue to follow this important news story as it develops.