Duh Aficionado Magazine: Drunk People Drink Budweiser

In Denzel Washington’s new movie, Flight, he plays an alcoholic airline pilot, and in order to increase the film’s realism, the director decided to show his character drinking actual alcohol. Right. I mean if we can have photorealistic dinosaurs in Jurassic Park then surely we can have Denzel Washington drinking a beer. The technology has finally caught up with the vision. But now the alcohol is mad about it! Oh no! Alcohol, are you OK?! From Deadline:

Budweiser brewer Anheuser-Busch has reportedly asked Paramount to obscure all images of its flagship beer in the Robert Zemeckis movie Flight. In the drama, Denzel Washington plays an airline pilot accused of drinking before captaining a plane. It includes scenes showing Washington consuming alcoholic beverages, including Budweiser and assorted vodka brands. The well-reviewed film opened #2 this weekend with $25M. Now, according to wire reports, Budweiser VP Robert McCarthy has penned a letter to Zemeckis’ Image Movers and to Paramount saying Anheuser-Busch had “no knowledge of the use or portrayal of Budweiser” before or during the film’s production and were not contacted by the studio. “We would never condone the misuse of our products, and have a long history of promoting responsible drinking and preventing drunk driving. It is disappointing that Image Movers, the production company, and Paramount chose to use one of our brands in this manner,” McCarthy said in the letter.

Hey, Budweiser, guess what?

You make alcohol, the preferred beverage of alcoholics. Not only that, but you make high volume amounts of alcohol and your entire business model is built on an exponential rate of growth and consumption. It is in your interest that people drink massive amounts of your product, which is why you market it heavily to college students and lower income households. On top of that you have tried to position yourselves as America’s beer. Fair enough. But guess what: PEOPLE DO SOME SHITTY THINGS IN AMERICA. Like, all the time. Most of what people do here sucks, to be completely honest, we all hate it and we complain to our friends about all of it constantly. Obviously, I understand the difficult position you have been put in by having your product prominently displayed in a dangerous and unflattering light but let me take a wild shot in the dark and guess that the appearance of Budweiser in the movie Flight did not affect Budweiser sales even a tiny little bit. No one was like “I’m not touching Budweiser no more, Denzel Washington is a complicated anti-hero!” Relax. Why don’t you spend less time writing whiny open letters to movie studios about the one-off instance of negative product placement and put that energy into making your beer not be disgusting. In conclusion, shut up, Budweiser, you stupid bitch.