Courtney Stodden’s 52-Year-Old Husband Defines “Child Molester”

Doug Hutchison, the 52-year-old man who married self-proclaimed teenager, Courtney Stodden, has FINALLY broken his LEGENDARY silence on the proper usage of the term “child molester.” OH THANK GOODNESS. At a certain point I was like, is this guy even going to address this? We need to hear what he has to say about it! Where is he? WHERE IS CHUUUUUUUUUCK?! But he’s here now. Hush, baby. Hush, sexy little baby. From ONTD:

“The thing is, it’s interesting that anyone would call me a child molester because what I think that does is belittles true child molesters, the ones out there that are really molesting children. We can’t do that,” says Doug, 52. “My and Courtney’s marriage is legal, it’s moral and its within the law. I’m not a child molester, so anyone who says that I’m not going to take it to heart. I only care about what my loved ones think about me and no one else.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Good use of the word “belittle.” Very proper use of the word “belittle.” Man, you know who would argue that calling an adult who marries a child a child molester is distracting people from actual child molesters? A child molester. There is no greater expression of the love between two people than “my marriage is legal.” GAHHHHH. Tracy Morgan knows what’s in Doug Hutchison’s heart and that’s all that matters. And as long as Doug stands up in a court of law and shouts “I REST MY CASE” I don’t see this going much further. You can’t throw someone in jail for being a child molester if they use the air-tight “sticks and stones” defense. That would belittle our whole justice system!