Kelly: Hey, Gabe!
Gabe: hey kelly
Gabe: what’s up?!
Kelly: Just surfing the ‘net! What’s up with you?
Gabe: oh cool, that’s neat
Gabe: i am just eating and drinking as much as i can
Gabe: and celebrating another year in the Book of Life
Gabe: I HOPE
Gabe: no big deal
Kelly: Oh, that’s great!
Kelly: I’m not doing that but I’m happy for you.
Kelly: I think that’s what you are supposed to say to someone talking about a religious holiday you don’t share
Gabe: yeah, no, that’s exactly right
Gabe: see anything good on the Internet?
Gabe: doubt it!
Kelly: Yeah no, I’ve only seen awful things.
Kelly: Honestly awful.
Kelly: It’s a terrible place to spend your day, the Internet.
Gabe: the worst
Gabe: the only worse place
Gabe: i think
Gabe: is the Thai lady’s prison from Brokedown Palace
Kelly: Yeah, you probably can’t see this GIF in that place
Gabe: you definitely can’t, that’s most of what the movie is about
Gabe: is being deprived of that GIF
Kelly: I’ve never seen it but it sounds terrible
Kelly: I mean it sounds GOOD, duh, but just unpleasant.
Gabe: two words: Claire Danes
Gabe: Heroin Balloon
Gabe: Jordan Catalano
Gabe: Bridget Jones
Gabe: it is kind of an intense movie until you see them do a send up of it in Bridget Jones and then you are like haha Thai women prisons are hilarious
Gabe: she smoked 4 cigarettes and swallowed 3 heroin balloons today
Gabe: and now she weights 10 stone
Kelly: I had to google “bridget jones brokedown palace” to understand what you were saying but now I get it and I’m totally there
Kelly: Bridget Jones ate a prison
Gabe: basically, yeah, and then Colin Firth is like
Gabe: “Christmas sweater.”
Gabe: I don’t know
Kelly: What a sweet flick
Gabe: it’s just a perfect movie, there is absolutely nothing you can criticize it for or about
Gabe: it was basically the Louie of its time
Kelly: Do not even get me started on how Louie is perfect and how there is absolutely nothing you can criticize it for or about
Gabe: oh god, tell me about it
Gabe: that show is great, but guess what it is also not without its flaws
Gabe: i am talking to the internet now, not you
Gabe: HEY INTERNET!
Kelly: “What” – Internet Voice
Gabe: it is OK to say that sometimes (most times) Louie feels like a student film and is not actually that funny and is very self-indulgent
Gabe: it’s still good! but we can all be honest adults about things
Kelly: “ARE YOU KIDDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???????” – Internet Voice
Kelly: But yeah sometimes it isn’t great
Gabe: and guess what: maybe The Mindy Project will be good and maybe it won’t, but right now it is hard to tell
Gabe: that pilot was MIXED to say the LEAST
Kelly: You are right about that, to say the least.
Kelly: And guess what again, sometimes Breaking Bad wasn’t the best this past season AND ALSO the season before
Gabe: oh my god it was almost not even good sometimes this season!
Gabe: and i say that as a fan of the show!
Gabe: uh oh
Gabe: did you feel that?
Gabe: the world caving in?!
Kelly: I thought I felt that
Kelly: Should’ve seen it coming! See everyone in hell!
Gabe: the counter-argument that someone will make in the comments
Kelly: Is that you should just enjoy TV and not pick it apart?
Gabe: they will say “this stuff is so much better than other stuff, and therefore criticizing it is pointless, we should jsut be happy it exists at all”
Gabe: which is some real stockholm syndrome shit right there
Gabe: PLESE SIR, MAY I HAVE SOME MORE?!
Gabe: as if somehow the way that television works is that the things we like will be taken away from us if someone reads our mean joke tweets
Kelly: Yeah well did you see what happened to Community though
Gabe: wait, what happened?!
Kelly: A few people turned against it and IT GOT MOVED TO FRIDAYS.
Kelly: I do understand, though, not getting upset with trivial things and just enjoying them
Gabe: oh sure, but that’s just called life
Kelly: Enjoying them doesn’t mean unconditionally championing them
Kelly: Like, you can enjoy a TV show privately
Kelly: But if you’re going to talk about it a lot, in public especially
Kelly: You might as well be honest about it and with yourself
Gabe: well, there’s also a difference between, say, a plot loophole that doesn’t make sense if you think about it but who cares
Gabe: and something that you genuinely just don’t like
Gabe: there are things in the things that i like that i don’t like
Gabe: and i’m not worried that by talking about them i will ruin the the liking part of it, because i still like it too
Gabe: the worst part though
Gabe: is not when people talk about things and skip over the negative aspects
Gabe: that’s fine
Gabe: it’s when they swing in the opposite direction and talk about those things as perfect and IMPOSSIBLE to critcize
Gabe: i recognize that at this point i’m just creating an army of straw men
Gabe: but i believe that these straw men are real! and that they all have their own blogs!
Kelly: I don’t know if I fully understand these particular straw men.
Kelly: You’re saying they talk about the things that are wrong as, like
Kelly: Imperfections that make the show perfect?
Gabe: i mean that instead of just saying “i love this show, and here is why”
Gabe: and ignoring the parts that they might not love
Gabe: they say “I love this show and the reason is because it’s 100 percent perfect”
Kelly: Ooooohhh, right right
Gabe: you can learn all about it a strawman.com
Gabe: look, all i’m trying to say is
Gabe: there’s nothing wrong with being honest about stuff
Gabe: and that nothing is perfect, but it’s nice to see people strive for it
Gabe: except of course for Bridget Jones’s Diary 2: Exotic Heroin Jail
Gabe: the #1 movie of all time
Gabe: God bless
Gabe: this mess
Kelly: And God please
Kelly: delete the internet