It Turns Out This Is Just An Ad For Candy

Good lord! I support the basic premise of what I am being told that this company is attempting to do, which is some variation on removing the heavily processed chemical compounds and preservatives for our diet, but at the end of the day we ARE still talking about candy, right? You can go tubing on the Amazon river with Matt Damon and Gisele “Mint Tea” Bundchen till your face falls off and you still probably shouldn’t shove your face full of candy no matter how much natural palm fruit oil it has in it. But even if you do shove your face full of that sweet, delicious candy that 1 out of 1 children in a white sound studio prefer, it’s not going to, you know, SAVE THE WORLD.

“We need a President who is finally going to get this country’s candy back on track, and address the #1 issue with voters: candy.” – Mitt Romney.

If you want some candy, have some candy! And if you have some candy, try and have the best candy you can find! But YO! People are dying out here on these streets. NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.