Amanda Bynes Is The New Ms. Cool Disguise

This is not the first time that a woman has broken the wig ceiling and entered the Cool Disguise force on equal footing with men. We have already seen Jennifer Love Hewitt accomplish this once-thought-impossible task. (Although, to be completely fair, ladies, even when your disguise is very very cool, it is still only earning about 68 percent coolness on every Cool Dollar when you compare it to a Mr. Cool Disguise like this one or this one. I know it’s not your fault, it is just the cruel and wicked world we live in, but progress is progress and one day you will wear a fake mustache attached to a pair of lensless glasses as well as any man.) Intractable inequality aside, this is a great day for womyn! You, too, can knowingly enter into the modern celebrity contract, with all of its invasion of privacy and disregard for human sanity, then smash into a couple of people with your car and run away, and THEN decide that you no longer want your picture taken while you’re picking up a $45,000 watch for your assistant’s new baby and a couple of bagels that you had flown in from New York on their own private jet. Throw a caftan over your face! Walk with pride knowing that no one will ever possibly spot you! You’re a beautiful ghost. One of the hardest things about being a celebrity has always been the inability to go out in public without people recognizing you and disrupting whatever mundane activity you were trying to do in peace and quiet. Until now! Blend in with the crowds and be a real human being, ladies. Nothing to see here wink wink wink wink. Wink wink wink. Enjoy it, gals! (Via OMG!. Thanks for the tip, Antonia.))