Can’t A Fuzzy Faced Human Werewolf Just Eat His Ice Cream In Peace?

Yesterday when I read that Robert Pattinson was cast as T.E. Lawrence (of Arabia) in Werner Herzog’s Queen of the Desert I scoffed. OUT LOUD. In front of other people. At the time, I knew almost nothing about him other than the one thing there is to know about him right now. I’ve only seen one Twilight movie, the sex one, or rather I saw parts of it. There were so many long boring stretches that I had to keep fast forwarding and then sometimes I would think I was fast forwarding but nope, I was just watching the movie. I had been hoping that once I saw the film, I’d understand the RP phenomenon a little better but that whole CGI thing with his eyes that happens for, like, half the movie and the fact that his hair seems to be working overtime to make up for his sort of furry face, I’ve just never grasped his appeal. And I don’t think it has to do with not being a teenager either. When one of the nation’s youth starts talking to me about say, Heath Ledger in Batman, I get it. My mind can bridge the generational divide.

And then Kristen Stewart cheated on him, which normally would’ve made me rush over to his side immediately but instead I found myself just all worked up over the treatment she was being given. I mean, this is getting bonkers.

Even though I barely know anything about Kristen Stewart either (and also I ran not walked out of The Runaways) it seems like she a pretty job of not being a train wreck up until this point and should be cut some slack. It’s not fair for Hollywood to be all youth obsessed only to freak out the minute a young person acts their age. I mean, it’s not like she’s running for office where who you’re sleeping with really matters to your job.

All of which is to say, that Robert Pattinson was on the Daily Show last night and I liked him a lot more than I was expecting to. This is probably because I had also sort of forgotten that he was British. I’m thinking “literally” hasn’t invaded England yet because there’s a part where he says trying to explain what Cosmopolis is about is “physically impossible” and that felt refreshing.

As soon as her left the Daily Show studio, this definitely happened right?