Now You Can Be The Proud Owner Of A Road House Sequel Screenplay Written For Guy Fieri

Some dude in Flint, Michigan, home of Michael Moore and Krispy Kreme, has written his own screenplay for a Road House sequel that he envisions as being a starring vehicle for Guy Fieri (yes, good!) and put it up for sale on Craigslist. Let’s buy it! We are the new David Katzenbergs now, dogs! Get in on the ground floor. I cannot see a single thing going wrong with this whatsoever. From Craigslist (via WarmingGlow):

Attention all Hollywood head honchos. If you’re lookin’ for the next big summer smash ($$$) I think I got a real premium script in the works. Name’s Karl Welzein, President and CEO of Bad Boy City Entertainment and possible future big business owner. Below, you’ll feast your eyes on a taste of the gold, if you catch my drift. It’s the first scene of ROADHOUSE: PAIN STILL DON’T HURT, starring Guy Fieri. It’s pretty much the film America’s been cravin’ for. I’d also be willing to co-star in the film to keep costs low, (more $$$ for ya) and plus, when I put my mind to it, man, I get in some primo shape. But to be honest, the babes don’t really ever have any complaints about my bod. I haven’t rapped at Guy Fieri about the project yet, but pretty sure he’s down. Let’s set up a private convo, possibly in my neck of the woods, or you could fly me to Hollywood (first class). Maybe we could set up a little celebraish for the big contract signing? Who knows? Don’t delay. Let’s roll, you guys.

Let’s roll, you guys. See you at the CELEBRAISH. He hasn’t rapped at Guy Fieri about it yet, but I think we’re ALL pretty sure he’s down. If you click through to the posting you can read a tantalizing excerpt of the script itself. There are already some memorable quotes up on IMDB, including: “Man, you sure cleaned things up around these parts, kimosabe. Captain Karl’s Pizza Ship used to be riddled with Oriental Mafia crime. Not anymore, now it’s a 24/7, 365, celebraish. Open on Sundays (winks).” See you guys at Cannez. Pop champagne. Vinny Chase 2012.