Ladies, Get Over Here! I Have Some Big Shia LaBeouf News!

Ladies, get your cute butts over to the computer screen ’cause I’ve got some big (wink) lady news to share with you bitches!!! (I’m so sorry already!) As ladies, you know we are always searching for the HOTTEST things on Earth (??), and today the Earth just got a little hotter (???) with the news that Hollywood heartthrob Shia LaBoeuf, previously seen TOTALLY PENIS NUDE in Sigur Ros’s nude music video, is going to be in an erotic drama from known sexxxy filmmaker LARS VON TRIER! Don’t faint, grrl! Wait ’til you read all about it first! From The Hollywood Reporter:

Shia LaBeouf has set his sights on Danish director Lars von Trier’s ambitious erotic drama Nymphomaniac, which is set to begin production in September. The Transformers star is in talks to join a cast led by Charlotte Gainsbourg…

Nymphomaniac follows the erotic adventures of a woman (Gainsbourg) from her youth to age 50, as recounted to her husband (Stellan Skarsgard). It’s not clear how big LaBeouf’s role would be.

Ooooh, I think it’s VERY clear how “big” LaBeouf’s “role” will be if YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, LADIES! Ahhhhhahaha! Winkwinkwink! Cannot wait to see how Shia “flexes” his “acting muscles” in this film if you know what I mean I am so sorry I barely even know what I mean!! Ahh, we have fun. But seriously, ladies, erotic adventures are no joke, even if they do include our #1 celebricrush Shia LaBoeuf. Be safe out there! Respect yourself! #strength #beauty #shia