What Is Joss Whedon’s Marvel Television Show Going To Be?

BIG NEWS! I guess! I mean not really, in the grand scheme of things this is certainly meaningless filler, but really we’re all going to die one day and possibly the only things that aren’t meaningless filler are our human relationships and whatever else we’re actually really passionate about, but maybe someone out there is really passionate about Joss Whedon and I don’t want to take that away from anyone SO! Though Joss Whedon has hemmed and hawed a bit about not being sure whether he wanted to return to write and direct Avengers 2, it was announced yesterday the he would be returning to the project! (“Because he has a lot of ideas” for it, and also presumably because he has a brain in his head and Avengers made 100 billion dollars.) But also here is something else! From Variety:

Joss Whedon has signed an exclusive deal with Marvel Studios for film and television through the end of June 2015,” Disney said in a statement. “As part of that deal, Whedon will write and direct Marvel’s The Avengers 2 as well as help develop a new live action series for Marvel Television at ABC. He will also contribute creatively to the next phase of Marvel’s cinematic universe.

There were no other details given on what Whedon’s Marvel TV show would revolve around. ABC also is developing a reboot of its “Incredible Hulk” series with Guillermo del Toro.

No details were given? So then why didn’t you DEMAND THE DETAILS? My goodness. I guess we have to do everything ourselves. (Everything = Fake guessing at what this Marvel TV project is going to be.) (WILL WE EVER GET TO REST?)

My guesses, based on 0 knowledge of the Marvel Universe:

  • 7 strangers who dress up in Marvel superhero costumes for birthday parties or whatever else are gathered to live in a house together and they always have to wear their costumes and you never get to see their real faces, unless their costumes don’t have masks.
  • Spiderman is 50 years old and depressed but has a young next-door neighbor who believes in him.
  • The Avengers but a dark-comedy style TV show set in present day.
  • Captain America is a small-town mayor with a lot of pride and a big group of buddies.
  • A group of friends can’t decide on which X-Men characters they’d all be if they were all X-Men, so every episode presents an X-Men adventure but with the cast members in different roles. The group of friends thing is the frame story.
  • Thor and Loki live in an apartment.

I bet it will be one of those. I don’t know anything, but I’m willing to bet, like, A LOT that it’s going to be one of those.