I Guess Just Give Your Kid Whatever They Want

When I was a child, I desperately wanted to change my name to either Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake. Both great names! Rainbow Brite is certainly a more “ordinary” name than Strawberry Shortcake, but they’re both beautiful in their own ways and I am still on the path to forgiving my parents for not allowing what would’ve been a life-changing — FOR THE BETTER — adjustment to my given name. I’m sure the decision to forbid this change was rooted in some belief that giving your child whatever they want, forever giving in to even their most reasonable demands, would throw off their ability to grow into kind, generous, patient, understanding, and reasonable adult humans. I guess? I still don’t really get it, mostly it makes no sense. But SHOCKING video evidence was recently released PROVING that when parents give their kid whatever they want, even if it’s super ridiculous and actually seems very dangerous, EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FINE AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY AND EVERYONE IS SURE THAT THEIR PARENTS CARE ABOUT THEM AND NO ONE IS SAD FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

But, well, really, maybe you should put at least a helmet on your daughter while you’re making all of her dreams come true? Not to rain on the parade! But also maybe you should put arm and knee pads and like a neck brace just to make sure that in case she falls off she doesn’t get hurt? And maybe put a bunch of pillows all over the lawn? Just some safety precautions. I mean, you’re doing great! I don’t want to take anything away from what you’re doing! It seems so fun! But maybe also just put her to bed? She seems tired. Carry her to her bed and tuck her in and put pillows on the floor next to her bed in case she falls out at night. Babies are fragile, I think! Good job, dad! (Via Gawker.)