I know we never even asked for anything like a zebra and couldn’t have a zebra because I mean even though we did have a backyard and it was probably big enough for a zebra we didn’t have a cage or anything and I don’t know if they have to be in a particular climate or need to have some special kind of stuff to eat or I don’t know what and it’s not like we had any other animals that the zebra could play with other than the dog and I don’t even know if zebras and dogs make good friends or anything like that but like I just thought birthdays were supposed to be like special days for a person and I thought their dads were supposed to get them gifts to show them that the loved them you know not just gifts that were stupid, and like I’m not trying to sound ungrateful but I don’t know I feel like if you really cared about me you just would’ve spent a little more time thinking about what would’ve been a perfect birthday present to get me and it just kind of ruins everything and BRETTANY GOT A ZEBRA FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Oh, he was in commercials too? Oh, you feel really excited and really special because no one else has a zebra? I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU, BRETTANY, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT BIRTHDAY CONGRATS ON THE DUMB ZEBRA WHO EVEN CARES. (Via Abroath.)