Katie Holmes’ Marriage Proves Existence Of God

Speaking of Tom Cruise (as usual), the world has JUST RECEIVED some life and afterlife-changing news from childhood friends of Katie Holmes, regarding prayer and the existence of God and His willingness to grant the wishes prayers of children, regarding specifically, but perhaps not limited to, the celebrities they have crushes on and their future marriage to those celebrities. Celebuzz has the eternal scoop:

Angela Domschot, a former classmate of Holmes at the $18,000-a-year private Catholic school, Notre Dame Academy, said that Holmes used to pray for Cruise — years before she ever met him.

“In religion class, when we were about 16, we would have to say prayers to keep a certain someone safe and out of harm,” she said. “Katie would say it for Tom Cruise. We did that every day, so she would have said thousands of prayers for him.

“She also had a secret picture of him hidden in the inside of her text books. It’s crazy to think she married him – it was her dream come true.”

“Jesus said to her, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.’ That’s the base-level of how many times you have to pray for Tom Cruise if you want Me to consider your marriage with Tom Cruise. More times would be better. Hidden pictures are a plus.”- Matthew 18:22. I hope you guys have been going to church regularly! And if you’re going to start now, clearly you should BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRAY FOR! God’s like a genie! He just grants it and you have to deal with the consequences! Be safe out there! AMEN! AMENAMENAMEN!