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Oh Good! Kirk Cameron’s Talking About Gay Marriage Some More!

OH THANK GOODNESS! It’s been almost three whole months since Kirk Cameron weighed in on the State of the World, but the bitch is back! He’s taking a break from his weird proto-racist-but-then-also-completely-paradoxical complaints that Barack Obama is somehow turning America into Nazi Germany, which is a real head-twister, he’s probably going to have to have a party sub and think through some of the argumentation on that one, so for the time being he’s returned to his old saw horse: gay marriage and how it is going to murder everyone. Klassik Kirk! You do start to wonder where these guys get the time. Like, I find that there aren’t enough hours in the day to do my work and then also, say, LAUNDRY, much less do my work and raise six children and also complain publicly ad nauseum about the private lives of people I don’t know who love each other. I Don’t Know How She Does It 2: Full Throttle: The Kirk Cameron Story. And that one lady said you couldn’t have it all. HA! Read your scripture, Slaughter.

Ugh ugh ugh. We do not need to spend the one millionth blog post debunking how ridiculous any argumentation against gay marriage is, because there is no gray area when it comes to equality, and life is short and for the living so we should spend it talking about farts and butts. That being said, it is particularly egregious to rail against gay marriage under the guise of being worried about how two loving gays would raise their kid. Hey fuck you! Not just because it is so crystal clear that that is not EVEN a problem, but because if you are truly concerned about the welfare of children, which is a totally legitimate and noble thing to be concerned with, then maybe you should actually do something real about it. There are currently 408,000 children in foster care. There are 16.4 million children living in poverty. Every year, 3.3 million reports of child abuse are filed. And these are just statistics for the United States, one of the richest countries in the world, and the country Kirk Cameron is working so hard to “protect.” We aren’t even talking about all the stupid poor ones all over the world. Yuck! Who cares about them?! (Seriously, who cares about them, since we clearly don’t even care about the ones we have?) It’s worth pointing out that these statistics come from the most basic of Google searches conducted by a certified moron. SO COME THE FUCK ON WITH YOUR SANCTIMONIOUS STRAW MAN ARGUMENTS THAT SOMEHOW IT IS A COUPLE OF GAY PEOPLE YOU JUST MADE UP WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT CHILDREN. (The devil’s advocate counter-argument, of course, is that just because those are problems children are facing doesn’t make gay marriage NOT a problem children are facing and therefore worth addressing. The only problem with this argument is that gay marriage isn’t a problem children are facing.) But, no, never mind, I guess the very best way to ensure the well being of our most precious resource is to take every opportunity we have to publicly spew hatred out into the world and to give them the shining example that you should demonize and condemn people for loving each other. That will fix them right the fuck up. (Via ChristianNightmares.)