Videogum

A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Charlie Kaufman’s Kickstarter

Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hi kelly
Kelly: It’s been a while! How’ve you been?
Gabe: my hands are cold!
Kelly: What?
Gabe: since we last talked, my hands have gotten too cold
Gabe: Uh-oh. Are you dead?
Gabe: i’m sitting in this overly air-conditioned Starbucks
Gabe: and it is 2 cold 4 schold
Kelly: Oh that’s terrible. Starbucks are always too cold, what’s the deal with that.
Kelly: Trying to sell more hot coffee????????
Gabe: i think the employees turn it up so high
Gabe: because of their stuffy uniforms
Gabe: head to toe fur uniforms?
Gabe: to sell coffee?
Gabe: what were they thinking?!
Kelly: Yeah, I never really thought about it before
Kelly: But it does seem like a bit much
Kelly: Let them take off the fur balaclavas at least!

Kelly: It took me a while to send that message because I forgot what they were called and I had to google “face covering winter hat”
Gabe: yeah, i know
Gabe: (kelly is typing, kelly is typing)
Kelly: “This one’s gonna be good” – you, I bet
Gabe: just staring at the screen
Gabe: hitting refresh on my chat
Gabe: WHAT ARTICLE OF CLOTHING IS SHE BING-ING?!
Kelly: Well, I hope it was worth it
Kelly: Just kidding
Kelly: I KNOW it was.

Kelly: So what’s up, what’s on your mind
Kelly: Other than your hands
Gabe: just my hands
Kelly: Oh wow, that seems nice, actually
Gabe: i’m very present
Kelly: That’s really beautiful
Kelly: So anyway not to take your mind off your hands
Kelly: But have you had any time to donate to Charlie Kaufman and Dan Harmon’s Kickstarter yet, for their stop-motion animated film Anomalisa? Which they’re using Kickstarter to fund so they don’t have to have their work changed by Hollywood studios?
Kelly: It’s only been up for like a day so I understand if you haven’t gotten to it yet
Gabe: oh, that’s why i’m in this starbucks
Gabe: i live here now
Gabe: because all my money went to the kickstarter
Gabe: to help fund that underground project from a bunch of people who probably only have, like, low-digit millions
Kelly: Oh wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelly: You really care about the integrity of this project
Kelly: WHICH PERSON ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE THE 20 MINUTE SKYPE SESSION WITH?
Gabe: fingers crossed for those strugglers
Kelly: It’s lucky that Kickstarter finally exists
Kelly: And we can finally have ONE movie
Kelly: Untainted by studio input
Gabe: i just hate the hollywood system that let us all know that their work was good in the first place
Gabe: it’s so awful how the studios gave us all the things we like by those guys
Gabe: fuck those studios!
Kelly: Fuck them.
Gabe: for just 25 dollars, you can SEE it one day!
Kelly: A stop-motion movie that sounds mostly like a movie any of them would have made anyway.
Kelly: “A downloadable movie poster” for $15 might not seem like a lot
Kelly: But you have to also consider the history you’re making by helping to fund the first film made with 0 studio input
Kelly: And many famous producers
Gabe: never has there been a group of creative people
MORE capable of raising 200 thousand dollars
Gabe: without the help of their friends and family
Gabe: and they know this so well
Gabe: that in the video for their project
Gabe: they say “if we get more than 200 thousand dollars, we’ll do OTHER stuff!”
Gabe: uh, cool, LIKE WHAT?!
Gabe: ugh
Gabe: it’s rude!

Kelly: It’s all very frustrating. When my own friends ask me to give them money for free for their movie projects on Kickstarter it’s frustrating and rude, yeah.
Gabe: it’s just such fake populism
Gabe: “join us in our fight agains the studio system!”
Gabe: whatever
Gabe: every single one of them will continue to work within the studio system
Gabe: which is FINE!
Gabe: they should!
Gabe: they’ve earned it!
Kelly: hahah
Gabe: but, if you want to fart out a project, fart it out on your own dime
Gabe: life is hard enough as it is
Kelly: Right
Kelly: Are they releasing this movie for free?
Kelly: One of the pledges gives you a digital download of it so I would assume they are not releasing it for free
Kelly: Which seems extra rude
Kelly: That they’d ask their fans for money to make the movie and then ask their fans for money to watch the movie
Gabe: if you really love and respect your fans so much
Gabe: why don’t you just make something for them and give it to them?
Gabe: and if you can’t afford to do that, your fans will understand
Kelly: Yeah
Kelly: People liking you and giving you their money in the first place is the only reason you can ask the people who like you to give you more of their money
Kelly: Bologna
Gabe: also, those guys in particular
Gabe: have had extraordinary success
Gabe: at making things within the studio system that
Gabe: sure
Gabe: might not have been 100 percent the exact version they wanted with no outside input
Gabe: but are PRETTY unique and clever and whatever
Gabe: if anything, it is often their own self-indulgence that still makes it through the process that is the most frustrating part of their work
Gabe: so, take it easy

Kelly: That’s very true
Gabe: i’m completely fine with the work of Charlie Kauffman AS IT IS
Gabe: and have never been like
Gabe: TAKE THE LEASH OFF THIS DOG AND LET IT HUNT!
Gabe: the dog is doing fine
Kelly: Right
Gabe: let’s also be clear about something
Gabe: LET’S BE CLEAR, KELLY STOP CLOUDING THE ISSUE
Kelly: I’LL THINK ABOUT IT WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY
Gabe: i’m not saying i don’t want these guys to make their cartoon
Kelly: IT’S A STOP MOTION CLAYMATION FILM
Gabe: go ahead, guys!
Gabe: make yr cartoon!
Gabe: but buy it with your lawn mowing money
Gabe: that’s what i had to do when i wanted a swatch watch

Gabe: when i wanted a swatch watch
Gabe: i didn’t ask my fans to donate money
Gabe: I MOWED THE LAWN LIKE A MAN
Kelly: hahah
Gabe: and i did NOT play the victim about it
Gabe: i wasn’t like
Gabe: HELP ME BUY A SWATCH WATCH OUTSIDE OF THE TERRIBLE LAWN MOWING SYSTEM
Kelly: “Let me buy the Swatch I would like to buy. Something pure. Something beautiful.”
Gabe: “this swatch will be bought with no notes from the lawn mower”
Gabe: “on which swatch to buy”
Kelly: “My goal is to have the most unique Swatch on the market, so you, my family and friends, are allowed to enjoy my Swatch the way I intended.”
Gabe: “for 25 dollars, you will get one skype call with me to ask me what time my swatch watch says it is”
Gabe: “if you donate more than 25 dollars, i will be able to use that money to work on other shopping projects”
Gabe: “with such artists as Videogames, Comic Books, and Candy.”
Kelly: “I just want to buy something myself.”