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Better Questions To Ask Emma Stone

It can be hard, sometimes, to imagine other people’s motivations. Like why a person you knew in college would consistently tweet personal things about her disappointing love life, or why celebrities keep so many nude photos of themselves on their cell phones after they’ve (presumably) already sent them to whomever, or why anyone goes up to a celebrity and says ANYTHING, let alone a quote from a movie that celebrity was in. What is the endgame? And wouldn’t running up to them and just shouting their name at them have the same effect? “I KNOW YOU FROM SCREENS.” Lots of celebrity have stories that they tell on talk shows and in print interviews about fans doing this sort of thing, and here is Andrew Garfield’s girlfriend, Emma Stone’s. From ONTD:

Emma Stone is tired of being asked if she is ‘down to f**k’.

‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ actress constantly gets asked if she is ‘D.T.F’ after a phrase used in her film ‘Superbad’, but even such an offensive question doesn’t annoy her as much as people singing Natasha Bedingfield’s ‘A Pocket Full of Sunshine’ at her after her character in ‘Easy A’.

She said: ‘After ‘Superbad’ I always get, ‘Are you D.T.F?’ But more than anything, what I get is ‘Pocketful of Sunshine’ being sung to me. That song is the worst.’

So people see Emma Stone, like, walking out of a grocery store and they approach her and start singing that song? Just singing to her in the middle of everyone, because that song was in a movie? Or are TMZ tour participants are told before the bus starts moving that if they see Emma Stone they have to yell “ARE YOU D.T.F.” and then they get a water bottle? ????? What’s the damn deal, guys?! Have any of you asked Emma Stone if she was “D.T.F.” before, when you caught a glimpse of her in public? PROBABLY, RIGHT? Did she F you afterwards and/or are you guys very close now? What a sweet meet-cute for you two. For the rest of us, I’ve compiled a few better questions to ask, in case we happen to spot her in our own cities. 

  • HEY WHAT’S SPIDERMAN LIKE?
  • HEY HOW’S YOUR HEAD FROM WHEN YOU HIT YOUR HEAD IN SUPERBAD?
  • WHAT HAIR DO YOU LIKE BETTER, BLONDE HAIR OR RED HAIR?
  • HEY EMMA WHAT DOES ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT LOOK LIKE?
  • HOW’D YOU GET SO FAMOUS
  • DO YOU KNOW IF JONAH HILL IS SKINNY RIGHT NOW OR IS HE FAT AGAIN
  • WHERE ARE YOU FROM
  • DO YOU HAVE A FACEBOOK AND WILL YOU ADD ME AS A FRIEND?
  • WHY DO YOU HAVE A TWITTER IF YOU DON’T USE IT
  • HOW TALL IS YOUR FRIEND TAYLOR SWIFT?
  • HOW MUCH CLOTHING DO YOU HAVE?
  • ARE YOU A JERK OR ARE YOU NICE?
  • HOW DO YOU MEMORIZE ALL THE LINES, DO YOU HAVE A TRICK?
  • “YOU LOOK PHOTOSHOPPED” GET IT

Ask away, and then maybe the thing you want to happen will happen!