Last night I watched a documentary about “The Dream Team,” the 1992 USA Olympic basketball team that had every famous basketball player in the entire world on it, not because I am interested in any word that I just wrote but because sometimes in life you have to make compromises, and in the documentary they talked about why Isiah Thomas (a basketball player) wasn’t included on the team, and that was because he was a jerk and no one liked him I guess? But then today I saw this picture of Shaq, and it was so perfect, and I thought, wait, WHY WASN’T SHAQ ON THE TEAM? “Did Shaq get snubbed, too?” I wondered. “Why didn’t anyone in that documentary talk about Shaq, perfect Shaq, and why he wasn’t included?” So then I looked it up on the Internet, and as it turns out Shaq…wasn’t drafted…or something…until 1992? And…couldn’t be…? Listen, I got bored VERY VERY soon after I tried to find out why Shaq wasn’t included on the 1992 USA Olympic “Dream Team,” so I don’t actually have the answer. (Also I’m almost positive that it was a VERY dumb question to even ask.) But I did try to find out! And it was all because of this photo of Shaq on the set of Grown Ups 2 and how incredible it is, and also: look at how small that can of Hawaiian Punch looks in Police Officer Shaq’s hand!! And that’s what’s important. Trying. Also what is important is CAPTIONING THIS PHOTO!