You Should Probably Go See Safety Not Guaranteed ASAP

I don’t know about you, but whenever I see a movie the first thing I do upon exiting the theater is take a moment to adjust to being out in the world again, and then immediately start listing all of the problems I had with the movie. You probably do this too? I’m pretty sure most people, if not everyone, does this, unless the world I live in is just a lot more miserable than the world most people do, in which case I hope you had fun talking about how pretty Snow White and the Huntsman looked. But do you want to know what the first thing I said after seeing Safety Not Guaranteed this past weekend was? Even though I saw it at the same theater in which Gabe saw Prometheus/ate brunch, but every time I wanted to see it it sold out at like 10:30AM, and I was like “what gives? is it really that popular?” until I finally got tickets and realized the theater was the size of my bedroom and the screen was roughly the size of my computer screen and had like 10 seats and then it made sense why it kept selling out so quickly? Which was surprising because I had been to a movie there once or twice in the past and it was in a normal-size theater? But this theater wasn’t, and I had to sit in the front row? Which really wasn’t that bad because there were literally three rows? And honestly it was still fine because you can order cocktails during the movie and they bring them to you, but right at the beginning the size was just pretty jarring? Anyway, want to know what I said when I left the theater? I said, “I HAD ALMOST NO PROBLEMS WITH THAT MOVIE.”

I honestly did not mean it in a remotely negative or backhanded way, or even as a joke, which is what people thought it was and then I was kind of embarrassed, but I was trying to think of anything I had a problem with and the two problems I could come up with were one time Aubrey Plaza made a joke that I didn’t particularly like, and another time Aubrey Plaza had to cry and both tears rolled down her face at the same time in a way where you could tell that she wasn’t really crying and just waited until that moment to blink the fake tears out of her eyes. JUST THOSE TWO! Me, the most professional movie critic on the Internet, and I only had those two problems with this movie. Can you even believe it? I cannot even believe it.

To talk a bit about the movie, IF I MUST, it follows Jake Johnson (from lots of things, also New Girl) (in a movie he is a reporter at a newspaper), Aubrey Plaza (an intern at a newspaper), and Karan Soni (a nerd, also intern at the newspaper) as they investigate a guy (Mark Duplass) who put an ad in the classifieds looking for a partner to travel back in time with. Aubrey Plaza approaches him and tells him she wants to go back in time with him. He puts her though a number a tests until he decides that he can trust her. You can watch the trailer here, if you haven’t already. You soon find out Jake Johnson, who took the lead on the story, had ulterior motives, and also Aubrey Plaza had some ulterior motives of her own, and the nerd is just a full on nerd and has a very funny joke about his computer at one point, and it’s hard to really explain anything about the movie without ruining it because it gets into spoiler territory pretty quickly and WHY AREN’T YOU SEEING IT ALREADY?

The ensemble cast is wonderful. Jake Johnson plays a wonderful jerkier version of his character on New Girl. Aubrey Plaza plays a much more human and sweeter version of Aubrey Plaza. Karan Soni is a very realistic nerd. Mark Duplass is very, very good in his role as a total heartbroken weirdo who is also pretty handsome so you can see why Aubrey Plaza SPOILER SPOILER. It is a wonderful, very funny movie, with lots of wonderful very big heart. I don’t know what else to tell you! Do you like Buffalo ’66? The Aubrey Plaza/Mark Duplass dynamic reminded me a lot of the Christina Ricci/Vincent Gallo dynamic in Buffalo ’66, except without the kidnapping and with a bit less mental illness. But there are lots of similarities, and it is a wonderful, very sweet dynamic, and I love it so much. The similarities really hit you (you = me) when they both discuss why they want to travel back in time, and then also when you find out SPOILER. YOU GUYS? Please go see this movie. If you don’t like it that’s too bad and I’m very sorry about how you have no capacity for judging whether movies are good or bad, but if you do like it, YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT!

I did talk to another friend who has seen this movie and this friend said he didn’t like the Jake Johnson ulterior motive plot line because he didn’t think it was ever resolved and he didn’t think that it added much to the film overall, but he was wrong. It was resolved in a very quiet way that I really liked and I thought it added a lot to the movie. I can’t get into the details until you see it, obviously, but you should go see it and then tweet at me and I can give you his phone number and you can call him and tell him how wrong he was.