The Identity Of The Jew-Hating Elmo Of Central Park REVEALED!

Hey! Remember the Jew-hating Elmo from Central Park? Well the New York Times tracked him down and interviewed him because until the world is completely underwater, those Pulitzers are still up for grabs. And you might be very surprised to learn the man’s real identity:

The man, who said his legal name, if not an original one, is Adam Sandler, was handcuffed by the police and escorted from the park on Sunday afternoon after he was heard — and videotaped, by an English tourist — shouting anti-Semitic remarks outside the Central Park Zoo.

OF COURSE! (“The Hanukah Song” is actually a virulent screed against the Jewish Conspiracy. LISTEN AGAIN.) Obviously, you have to stay on the move or else the Jews will get you. (They are also the reason that That’s My Boy still has not sold a single ticket.)

He moved to Central Park when he felt Times Square was too saturated with Elmos.

First the star-whackers and now the JEWS. (Or are the Jews IN LEAGUE with the star-whackers? HUH, NEW YORK TIMES?) I’m not too worried about Sandler, though. The article points out that he once started a pornographic website called “Welcome To Rape Camp,” so this guy always lands on his feet. Nice try, Jews. Great article, New York Times.