The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Alec Baldwin Pushing Some Jerk Paparazzo

Yuck, well, so, the big photograph going around today (each day has its own “big photograph,” no doy, let’s continue) is this one, from the New York Daily News, of Alec Baldwin allegedly “punching” a member of the paparazzi, who were camped outside of the courthouse where Alec Baldwin had just obtained his marriage license. (Congratulations to Alec Baldwin!!!!) I say allegedly punching because the only person who said he punched anybody is the guy who has been allegedly punched, and you know — NY Daily News. So anyway what I want to say is: WHO AMONG US WOULD NOT PUSH OR EVEN PUNCH THIS JERK? Alec Baldwin certainly does often seem like a crazy person, and it’s not his first negative encounter with the paparazzi, but my goodness! Your HUMAN LIFE is constantly monitored by people pushing and shoving to get the best shot of you, like, taking a walk, and then on what could be one of the most important days of your life (giving everyone the benefit of the doubt), you walk out of the courthouse into what you hoped would be relative anonymity and you STILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE GOONS? Give me a break. Everyone is a human. Nobody should punch anybody else, but also nobody should shout bullshit at strangers and then take their picture all the time and expect to not get pushed or punched in the face every so often. Alec Baldwin did accept the job of Famous Celebrity, but you, Mr. Photographer, also accepted the job of Awful Goon Who Sells People’s Privacy For Money. FAIR IS FAIR. Let’s all leave each other alone! Well first let’s all leave each other alone, but then also let’s CAPTION THIS HOT-BUTTON PHOTO!

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball and 0 punches in the face. (Via TheSuperficial.)