What Is YOUR Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Adaptation Dream Cast?

Bret Easton Ellis is apparently hoping to write the film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey, because I guess that is the world we live in. If it’s not the world we live it, it is AT LEAST the world that Bret Easton Ellis has suggested we live in on Twitter, which is DEFINITELY an attribute of the world we live in. (The kind of world where Bret Easton Ellis tweets about wanting to adapt the E.L. James mommy sex thriller, or whatever, Fifty Shades of Grey, and then tweets about casting Lena Dunham in it.) Read the tweets for yourself! We have some important things to get to after you read them, so just read them. Here, from Movieline:

Reporting on Ellis’ Tweets — which should be taken with a sizable grain of salt, obviously — Orange UK noted that the Less Than Zero author speculated that Scarlett Johansson or Kristen Stewart would be the likely victors to play the novel’s Ana opposite a theoretical Gosling as Christian Grey. “I would love it if we lived in a world where [Girls actress] Lena Dunham could be Ana in Fifty Shades of Grey but I don’t think we do,” Ellis wrote. “Hope E.L. James doesn’t think I’m being a prankster. I really want to adapt her novels for the screen. Christian Grey is a writer’s dream…” The novel’s Christian Grey is a wealthy man tormented by demons and a need for control who begins a BDSM affair with college grad, Ana.

Haha, actually maybe do you think that E.L. James is just Bret Easton Ellis’s nom de plume? “Ahh, I guess I can take a stab at adapting this novel. What did you say it was called again? 50 Shades of what? Hmm, sure. Sounds fine, I guess. I guess I’ll try to do it. No promises, but I’ll try.” That was Bret Easton Ellis pretending like he didn’t originally write 50 Shades of Grey. Anyway, Lena Dunham as the girl character and Ryan Gosling as the boy character? PRETTY GOOD! That almost sounds exactly like anything that any of us would’ve said! So much so that it almost demands us to say more things. Right? Who is your Fifty Shades of Grey Bret Easton Ellis movie adaptation dream cast? Just, like, in the past when you’ve thought about it — who did you imagine? My picks would be Elisabeth Olsen and Vincent Gallo, NO DUHS. Hahah. What a horrifying movie that would be. Now that I picked the grossest pair, who are you going to pick? C’mooonn.