ScreamBody: Finally, An Useful Invention

The world we live in is an endless nightmare, spotted with brief glimpses of hope serving only to deepen our understanding of the despair that surrounds them. For example, I just killed a mosquito and it exploded with what I can only assume was my own blood, which I then HAD TO CLEAN UP. You know? Like, are you serious? This is the world we live in? THIS? I’m not sure anyone has ever experienced anything in their own lives that was nearly as awful as what I just described, but I’m sure we all have our own challenges. We all have our own moments when we’re in a mall, sitting on a fountain next to a stranger, wanting to scream. But we can’t! We can’t scream the way we all want to, the totally normal way that everyone wants to so often when they are in public that it’s almost incredible that it isn’t just allowed already, because no one has invented a pillow to wear on our chests yet. OR HAVE THEY?

Thank you, Kelly. That’ll do. (Via Neatorama.)