Amanda Bynes Rests Her Case For The Honorable Judge Obama

Last night, actress Amanda Bynes tweeted her closing arguments to Barack Obama and the entire legal system. Sweet justice! All of this relates back to Amanda Bynes’s arrest in April on D.U.I. charges after she side-swiped a cop car while making a right turn and then refused to take a breathalyzer, although in her defense (I mean in her other defense, besides this great tweet to Obama) sideswiping a cop car is the most drunkie mcdrunkdrunk thing you can do, so a breathalyzer would have just been “cruel and unusual punishment” (cc @ronaldmcdonald). Of course, it didn’t stop there. Why would it? THIS IS AMERICA! A week later, Amanda Bynes drove over a curb while SEXTing. Mr. President, TEAR DOWN THESE CURBS! She’s obvs innocent. Would a drunk person TWEET THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES ABOUT HER D.U.I.? Come on. Use your noodle. And in case you were wondering whether or not she hit and runs, she doesn’t hit and run. Did you even read the Tweet, David Axelrod? The end. (Via PopCultureBrain.)