Duh Aficionado Magazine: Johnny Depp Is A Comanche Now

The Comanche Indian tribe has “formally adopted” Jonny Depp as one of their own because OF COURSE THEY HAVE. Seriously, name one other celebrity that would get adopted by a native American tribe where you would just immediately be like, well, if anything I’m surprised he wasn’t ALREADY an honorary member of everything. It already made the front page of The Way We Johnny Depp Lives Now section of the Times. From the Hollywood Reporter:

Last week, Depp was formally adopted by the Comanche Indian tribe, a New Mexico-based group of Indians to which Depp’s Tonto belongs. LaDonna Harris, a Comanche and president of Americans for Indian Opportunity, heard about his film role and invited him to join the tribe.

“I reached out, and Johnny was very receptive to the idea,” she told the website Indian Country. “He seemed proud to receive the invitation, and we were honored that he so enthusiastically agreed.”

Right. This all continues to make total sense. I’m not being sarcastic. This sounds about right. “Hey, Johnny Depp, would you like to be an honorary member of the Comanche Indian tribe?” “Yes.” Can you imagine someone getting that phone call and being like “Ew, no!” Probably. Who? Not Gary Busey. Gary Busey would be very down. Gary Busey would be like “I’ve seen this phone call coming for the past 15 years in my nightly visions.” I bet you Tom Cruise would do it, but he’d talk to his people first, make sure this wouldn’t hurt him in International Markets. “I need to remain popular with racists.” Tom Cruise is very popular with racists. Because he’s popular with everyone! Oh, I know. I’ve got it. “Hey, Tim Allen, would you like to be an honorary member of the Comanche Indian tribe?” “Ew, no.”