Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

DVR ALERT! DVR ALERT! I know it’s early still, but I just wanted to get everyone pumped for the upcoming Hallmark Channel movie starring Dean Cain called OPERATION CUPCAKE. It premieres June 16th at 8PM. Here’s the synopsis:

When Army Colonel Griff Carson (Dean Cain) returns home from Germany on a two-month leave, he considers retiring if he doesn’t get promoted to General. With his kids growing up and his wife busy opening a second bakeshop with a slimy business partner, Griff suddenly feels he no longer fits into his own family. Hoping to give him a sense of duty, Janet assigns him to help run her quaint cupcake shop. At first reluctant, Griff starts to take a military approach to his new job, never expecting it to backfire. Soon the bakery is a war zone, and one final screw-up almost sends the place up in smoke. Frustrated, Janet threatens to cut him out of their lives for good if he can’t adjust to civilian family life. Refusing to give up, Griff is determined to prove to his family he’s ready to be a full-time father, or else face the lonely life of a solitary military man.

For more info, check out the Perfect Website. Oh, right, your comments!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Kristen Stewart Flipping Off Charlize Theron And Chris Hemsworth Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#4 That One | May 11th Score:52

BNPG: #lincolnfacts

600% of all gays who perform anallingus immediately transform into Robocops.

Posted in: That’s Your Hate-Filled Nonsense Garbage Ranting Girlfriend
#3 R2D2, Esq. | May 11th Score:53

Needless to say, my girlfriend’s not into butt stuff.

Posted in: That’s Your Hate-Filled Nonsense Garbage Ranting Girlfriend
#2 That One | May 11th Score:58

There’s a very apt spatial metaphor concerning gaps in generational attitudes going on here:

Posted in: That’s Your Hate-Filled Nonsense Garbage Ranting Girlfriend

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Funny that you should say that, topknot, because did you know that Charlize Theron did not have teeth until SHE WAS 11 YEARS OLD? What a poor baby! What a beautiful woman! But yes, good comment. I’m sure you had no idea about the teeth thing. Also, way to win both top comment AND the caption contest. You really did it! The rest of you really did it too. Great jobs all around. Have a wonderful weekend, I hope the weather is ESPECIALLY nice for the five of you.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 Max Beerbong | May 16th Score:-7
More like a BARFing deFRIGHT just kidding.
Posted in: Mindy Kaling’s Upfronts Diary

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahaha. HOW DARE YOU. How dare you not agree that Mindy Kaling’s upfronts diary was a charming delight and then immediately say just kidding. Congrats on your lowest rated comment. What a nice group of commenters everyone was this week.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, topknot! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

[Assoc. Ed. Note: You and me both, Ashleigh.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

R2D2, Esq. | 9:33am Score:6

Chowder Island

Posted in: Leonardo DiCaprio Eating Soup

[Ed. Note: The truth is that I actually prefer illbobbytales comment, “Romeo + Soupiet,” but R2D2’s comment is the one that launched the thread, and so it gets the recognition it deserves. Consider yourself recognized.]